We are gathered here today to put on a school fundraiser, which is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly or without the book from the year before, that tells you what the hell you're supposed to be doing.
If any person can show just cause for why this fundraiser should not be held as it was the year before, let them speak now and commit themselves to Chair the event, or forever hold their peace. You didn't want to chair... you must now HOLD YOUR PEACE!
Who gives these two Mom's permission to pick a DJ, decide on the caterers, make casino choices and choose whether the "Chicken Dance" will be played during the event?
This event is a serious event. It should not be looked upon lightly. Each year the schools successes and extravagances are judged by the fundraiser put forth the year before. With this in mind...
Do you Margie, take Susanne to be your lawful wedded bitch to yell at and cuss out, throughout the fundraising process?
Do you Susanne, take Margie through sickness and health, smart-ass moments and tear jerking stomach spasms from laughing too much, throughout the fundraising process?
If so... repeat after me...
I will not EVER tell ANYONE, what we discuss in moments of ridiculous, sleep deprived pandemonium. I promise to have your back whenever someone who didn't have the guts to chair the boot starts to cuss you out. I will pump you full of caffeine before every meeting and feed you chocolate whenever the shit hits the fan... and I promise above all else to be your friend on April 26th.I am so happy to present to you, the newly wedded fundraising beotches, Smarty Pants and Slippers!
You may now eat your chocolate!
4 comments:
If you are getting married, can I be the greeter at the door and welcome them to your wedding? I can give very fun gifts and I can make those bitter women smile!!
Congratulations! Wishing you health, happiness and a successful event! Its already more fun than last year!
From your friend & Mrs. Sires Classroom Ambassador
Sue
Whens the honeymoon?? I want to go to vegas?? Also we need to talk to the wedding photog... I look like a troll in that picture. Anyway you crack me up and I call dibs on being the "Better Half" you can have "ball and chain" K???
All I can hear in my head is the song by Prince.Dearly beloved
We are gathered here 2day 2 get through this thing called life
Electric word life, it means 4ever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here 2 tell U there's somethin' else
The afterworld
A world of never ending happiness
U can always see the sun, day or night
So when U call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
U know the one - Dr. Everything'll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby
Cuz in this life things are much harder than in the afterworld
In this life U're on your own
And if de-elevator tries 2 bring U down, go crazy
Punch a higher floor!
If U don't like the world U're living in
Take a look around U, at least U got friends
U see, I called my old lady 4 a friendly word
She just picked up the phone, dropped it on the floor
Ahh! Ahh! was all I heard
CHORUS:
Are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down?
Oh no, let's go!
Let's go crazy, let's get nuts
Let's look 4 the purple banana till they put us in the truck
Let's go!
We're all excited, but we don't know why
Maybe it's cuz we're all gonna die
And when we do, what's it all 4?
U better live now before the grim reaper
Come knockin' on your door
Tell me...
CHORUS
Come on, baby
Let's get nuts!
Yeah (Crazy)
Let's go crazy
Are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down?
Oh no, let's go crazy! (Go crazy!)
I said let's go crazy! (Go crazy!)
Let's go! (Let's go!)
Go! (Let's go!)
Dr. Everything'll Be Alright will make everything go wrong
Pills and thrills and daffodils will kill
Hang tough children
He's coming!
He's coming!
Coming!
Take me away!
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