Dixie Cups

My twenty-year high school reunion is coming up this summer. Let me just be Frank, (wait, I knew a Frank in high school, let’s just say honest) Honestly, I’m looking pretty good. Not too many wrinkles, weights in the appropriate range, all the gray hairs are concealed by a wonderful woman named Terrilynn, my only real concern is… well my boobs. I’m wondering if I have time for a little lift. You know just something simple, get them back to their 20 year old hey day!

I realize this blog is getting a little sketchy, first the whole “Slumber Party” thing, now we’re talking about my boobs. Nobody said you had to read it!

All I can say is, “Come on girls! Where the hell are you going??” Ever since I’ve started this little running gig… you know training for the BolderBoulder, I’ve lost some weight. Guess where the weight is coming from? Yep, the C cups are shrinkin’ up! It’s really not fair. Trust me, there are other areas I wouldn’t miss.

There is an alternative to actually going under the knife, to perk them up. I just saw on Dr. Phil, teenage girls wearing more than one bra at a time to look busty! Now that’s an idea. How many do you think I can get on at one time, six… seven? How about if I just stuff the way I used to in sixth grade? Although, I never really thought the wadded up Kleenexes fooled anyone.

I’d like to get in on Victoria’s little Secret, but I have a feeling it’s more about airbrushing and lighting than the actual bras. So what am I left with here, Dixie cup ta-tas, or Dr. Christian Troy on Nip Tuck?

Maybe, I should just quit running and let myself "redevelope" . I just heard a study that heavy women over the age of 40 actually look younger than thin women. So which is it at the twenty-year reunion, plump and boobalicious, or skinny with mosquito bites?… tough choice.