WARNING ** The following blog does have sexual content, it is for mature audiences!

Went to a “Slumber Party” last night at my friend Cindi’s house. That’s Cindi - with an I, and don’t you forget it! She’s been selling sex toys… opps, bedroom enhancement products, for about six years now. She loves her job, which is totally obvious right from the start.

There are no men allowed at these parties, and obviously no kids. The women were a broad mix of ages. I brought Smarty Pants with me and while I didn’t know anyone else in the room, it only took me a second to recognize the one mother I had just spent the afternoon with at the Kindergarten Valentines party.

“Two very different parties in one day, huh?” she asked.

“Wow, yeah.” I replied smartly, twirling the green penis dangling from my wine glass.

After a few yummy snacks and a refill on the wine, we all headed into the living room to gather round for her sales pitch. She let us know right up front that she’d be giving us a little sex education, and she would be calling parts by their actual names, no Wooh Whos or Va’ JJ, No Mr. Willie or the Snake. She explained quite eloquently that there really is no “Little Man in the Boat.”

She told us she had everything in stock, (Even the Blow Up SHEEP) so we’d take our prizes home in a discrete black bag and that ordering would be private. Thank Goodness for the one who wanted to buy the BLOW UP SHEEP! BAAA BAAA. I was a bit relieved I wouldn’t need to know what Kindergarten Mom was buying. It might make the next Kindergarten activity a bit uncomfortable… “so…how’s the nipple cream working out for you?”

Cindi eased us in with a candle, some great smelling body sprays and a vibrating hair brush… no… this really is for your HEAD!

Then she brought out the more interesting stuff… bottles of little wonder products with names like, Lickity Stiff, Like a Virgin, Nympho Niagra, and X-scream! Wow! Her helpful assistant went around the room, spraying, dipping and rubbing all kinds of gels, powders and glitters on the women.

Right before the five-minute break, she pointed out the wide assortment of lingerie, everything from sparkles to leathers to pearls, and the library section, with books with titles like, Tickle His Pickle and Ride ‘Em Cowgirl - Sex Position Secrets For Better Bucking! Mama never told me there were books like this!

After the break the fun really started, with Cindi – with an I, setting a glowing, rotating vibrator right on the fireplace mantel and telling us it worked as an art piece. Huh… I never would have thought of that…

She brought out more battery-operated devices than I ever imagined possible. Every size, shape and color imaginable. With working parts that rotated, vibrated, jabbed and tickled and the grand daddy of them all that rotated, vibrated, jabbed and tickled all at the same time! These little babies, or I should say BIG babies had some great names too. Names like, Twist and Shout, Beginner’s Bunny, Mr. Dependable and Sugar Spoon! I want that job, the one who gets to come up with the names for this stuff!

She wrapped up the show right after nine o’clock and Smarty Pants and I had to dash home to the kiddos. We placed our order, took our discrete black bags, vibrating and BAAing and left as quickly as we could.

It was a really fun evening. I think it’s important that women can feel empowered about their sexuality. It’s about damn time! We can finally be a mature audience in discussing what works and can take control of our own sex lives. Thank you CINDI - with an I, for all you do to help women. Oh… and thanks for the Penis Lipstick, you gave me for FREE!