Being

I have trouble being. I must always be doing and my doing better be producing something with value.

(Side Track) I love my house. As I sit here at my computer I can see out the window from 3 stories up. I live in a raised ranch, so basement sits on the ground, living area is one flight up, and loft, my office, is at the top. This is my favorite place to be.

The room is filled with things I love. My favorite pictures, my favorite books and even my favorite couch. When I look out the window a feeling of peace fills me. All I see are trees covered so perfectly with snow that it seems that they were decorated just for my benefit. .

If I sit here long enough, I will see Foxy Roxy our neighborhood red fox trot down the street with a mouse or, sadly, the neighbors cat, draped delicately out of his mouth. Pretty soon the deer family will pass by. Uncle buck so big and regal and Auntie Doe fluffy, fat showing off her new winter coat. And finally if I am here long enough Sam the neighbors brown Labrador will undoubtedly come and crap in my yard.

If I sit here long enough I will see all of God’s creatures passing through. None of them, I imagine, are making plans for the day. They are just being.

My father’s side of the family has a grandmother that was pure Cherokee Indian. That’s what my dad says anyway, and I believe him enough to not investigate thoroughly. He has my entire life talked about the Native Americans and their beliefs and traditions. So much so that I included a Cherokee Indian in my novel. I made up, everything that she said and her beliefs on wellness. Now I am afraid, that it is my responsibility to make sure what I have said makes perfect sense on their behalf.

I bought a couple of books on Cherokee Indians written by a Cherokee Indian. When I was standing in the bookstore I flipped open the book and read a passage. It was entitled Being and Doing. The book caught my attention when I read… “Still, one simple truth remains: We are not human doings, we are human beings.” *

Basically the overall message is that while we are doing all of the things that supposedly need to be done, we miss the time needed to focus on ourselves and our own thoughts. Only by reflecting on ourselves can we become better people. Not necessarily better doers, but more moral, more honest, and just.

The doers are just as important to make our society whole, but it is societal pressure that takes away from the being to constantly be doing. I feel that all the time. My writing is being myself. It is not really doing. If someday I become published and they ask me to write something specific then I am a doer. For now I need to focus on the stories that resonate within me. It is the writing for the sake of myself that is being.

It is now 7:30 and my children are waking up, I need to get them ready for school, I need to shovel the snow, make their breakfasts and their lunches. I need to get myself ready for my day. But right now, I am going to take two minutes to look out the window I love and wait for Sam to come crap in my yard.



*The Cherokee Full Circle A Practical Guide to Ceremonies and Traditions by J.T. Garrett and Michael Tlanusta Garrett

I hate commas!

Grammar sucks.

I have just realized that I am really more of a story writer. Love the overall creativity of developing a story or characters and seeing where they go. I have dreams that begin a new story and that story lives out it's own life on the pages in front of me, developing into something new and complete.

My trouble?
Where do the commas go? how do you use the apostrophe correctly? Why can't you start a sentence with But and end it with a preposition. What is a preposition exactly.

I am not completely illiterate. Obviously. But, (HA) I have come to realize I need an editor. Always. What I concentrate on is the overall flow and story and credibility of the characters and dialog. Not where the damn commas go? For all I know they are all on a nice vacation in the Caribbean.

And, that's the way I like it. I hate to read something and concentrate on the science of the English Language. I can not, pick apart my stories and try to see the mistakes. It stripmines the entire peice in my head all over the placement of the comma. Unless I can hear in my head that the reader needs to take a pause for dramatic effect, forget about it.

So, I am hiring. Any editors out there?

I am also curious if that is a common characteristic. Are all you creative souls also good at the mechanics, or are most people one or the other? Left brain, right brain?

Anyway, I prefer things the way they are. (hmm... that can't be good) So, I will go on to dream and write and be who I am. As long as i can see my misgivings and hire, hire, hire. I'm all good.