Thanks for the Memories!

Reunion’s over, plus a day of rest which was much needed. WOW! It was way more than I imagined. Smarty Pants and my sister were the BEST back up a girl could ever ask for. Friday night we had SO much fun. When we arrived at the bar it was almost like taking a walk through my memory. The place was crowded and everywhere I looked was someone I knew a long time ago. My girls settled themselves at the bar and not only did they have their own fun all night long, but they gave me moral support and a drink whenever I needed one!

There are so many stories about these people. I’m stymied about what to write.

The girl who lived across the street from us was there. We played every game possible with her. We rode bikes together, and made mud cakes, and suntanned on her roof wearing baby oil. She has two babies of her own now and I hope they get to live across the street from someone like her.

My best friend from Kindergarten through 6th grade was there. She was the girl I first chased boys with and who I ALWAYS wanted to spend the night. We had secret clubs (that everyone knew about) and secret spiral notebooks which we passed around to all our friends with questions on every page like “Who do you like? And Who would you kiss?” She was my first friend that moved away. I have missed her for 15 years and we have finally just reconnected.

The guys that tried to teach me how to use a computer in third grade were there. That was funny! It was back when everything you did was a “code”. I don’t remember actually learning anything, but they tried! They are still my friends and I love them, I ended up spending most of the evening with them. Including breakfast at 2am. (yes, I stayed out REALLY late in Denver again!) We weren’t super close in high school, but now they are the friends I would most like to spend more time with.

And the first guy to ever break my heart was there. We were in 7th grade, thirteen years old! My friend Marcia liked him and gave me the job of finding out if he liked her. Turns out, he liked me! That was one of the first friends I lost because of a boy. We “went out” for a couple of months. I actually have no idea how long. Sadly, it made a much bigger impression in my memory.

I was a cheerleader and we were at a track meet. One of my friends from Elementary school went to a different Jr. High and she was there. I was so excited for her to meet my boyfriend, but when he showed up he broke up with me. Devastated doesn’t begin to describe it! It’s so funny to me now. Thirteen years old and I thought I could die over this boy who I passed notes to and kissed in the hallway. He’s earned himself a place in my memory only reserved for “the firsts”.

He grew up to be a great guy. He’s married with two little boys. I teased him a lot that night, I think he took it well.

There were plenty of others. The guy who set my house on fire. The two guys who flew through the screen door on their bikes. The girls who were my best friends with way too many memories to even write about. The friends I learned to drive with. The friend whose car I hit the day after I got my license. These people didn’t necessarily know the “best me”, because that’s me now, but they were my firsts and I loved seeing them all!

Saturday, was much more reserved. One bit of advice for those of you who haven’t seen your reunion yet, don’t take your spouse. He didn’t have any fun and was ready to leave way before I was. He got his way, and we snuck out without saying goodbye to anyone. I regret leaving, but then again, he’s the guy who loves me now for who I turned out to be. I just wish he could have appreciated meeting the people who helped me become who I am now.

To the Thornton High class of ‘89! Thanks for the memories!! I hope we don't wait another 10 years to see each other again.

Most Likely to Bring Back up Friends to her Reunion

My 20 year high school reunion is coming up this weekend. I created a little checklist.

• Nice outfit and GREAT shoes CHECK
• Washed that Gray right out of my hair CHECK
• Speed dial to my therapist CHECK
• Laid ground work on Facebook CHECK
• Back up friends to offer support and encouragement CHECK
• Sister to hold my hand CHECK

How come boys don’t worry about their reunion the same way girls do? DH had his twenty a few years back (yep, he robbed the cradle with me!) and he just threw on something out of the closet last minute and went. I don’t think he even bought a new shirt. Not that I’ve been stressing over any of it, but it definitely requires some shopping! And a cut and color. And new shoes. It’s mostly about the shoes...

I am seriously taking my sister and Smarty Pants as backup for Friday night. I’m sorry but I don’t get out all that often and I need to have reassurance I’m going to have fun. After all, I haven’t seen any of these people since my 10! A night out in Denver, with a hotel room is just not something you squander without some serious consideration.

But really, I can’t wait to see my old girlfriends, we were really tight in high school. We called ourselves the PITS ~ Pam, Ingrid, Tiffany and Suz. I just found out Tiffany’s not going to make it this year. I’m sad about that, without her we’re just the PTS which sounds like some sort of disorder “If you think you may have PTS talk to your doctor immediately!”

I also found out my HS boyfriend’s not going. I dated the same guy all three years. Well, off and on, we broke up a lot. He didn’t come to the 10 and he’s not coming to the 20 either. It’s not that I really have any sort of need to reconnect. He’s a Facebook friend now, it just would have been nice to see him after all this time.

Back then I was Susie and was most known for the fact that I was, “The Most Popular girl’s… best friend”. You know the girl no one really notices because she’s standing right next to the most beautiful, friendly, fabulous girl… yep, that was me!

Right up until my senior year. Then I went out on a limb and auditioned for the senior play. The play was called “The Girl in the Mirror”, and I got the part as “The Girl”. After that, I got voted “Most Theatrical”. I know it’s not “Most Popular” or “Most likely to succeed”, but it’s a MOST something right!?

I wonder why we didn’t try harder to come up with better most likely’s…

Most likely to become a vagrant
Most likely to sleep with a college professor
Most likely to skip college for a career as a pole dancer
Most likely to get a felony conviction

Now that would have been fun to follow up on.

At our 10, our class president, my friend Pam (I seriously did hang out with the Important People!), had each of the “most whatever’s” stand up and tell everyone what they were doing now. I was in sales at the time, I mean how apropos. “Most theatrical” is now acting like you NEED to buy this very important whatchamacallit.

This year I hope I don’t have to stand up. What would I say now, “I was voted Most Theatrical, now I’m a stay home mom. I use my theater training daily to persuade my kids to brush their teeth and eat their vegetables. I’m also a writer, basically I make shit up, and no I don’t actually get paid for it yet.”

Hey! I actually like that title WAY better… Most Likely to Make Shit Up! Yep that’s me!

DEET?? Who needs DEET!

There are only three good things about this last weekend of tent camping. I survived, I skied and laughed really hard at Smarty Pants trying to ski and I got a ROCKIN’ tan.

We went up to Blue Mesa for the weekend. We have been doing this tent weekend for a lot of years. I married an outdoorsman. I knew when I married him I would have to take these kinds of “vacations”. In fact when he asked me to marry him, we were out in the woods.

When he says “Lets go camping.” I hear, “Bring the vodka cause you’re going to want to forget most of what’s happening.”

We took Smarty pants, her three girls, and her niece, and got to the lake late Thursday afternoon. That’s when the real fun started. As we were putting together two tents, and two Easy-Ups (which by the way, aren’t all that easy) we noticed there were a few more mosquitoes than last year. Wow! Better spray the kids. We got out the family spray, which doesn’t smell too bad and gave everyone a good dousing.

Within a couple of minutes we realized the spray seemed to be more of an attractant. The little bastards were multiplying. That’s when we decided to start a fire to smoke them out!

Building a fire is one of man’s greatest pleasures. That’s why I thought it was EXTREMELY funny when Smarty Pants took over for DH and built the most incredible MAN fire I have ever seen. And she did it by rubbing two sticks together. No fire starter for her, NO WAY! She succeeded in smoking out our little friends and we roasted Smores and enjoyed our evening.

The next afternoon Dr. Love showed up in his rolling house, and around 5:00 the Invasion began again. There were so many mosquitoes swarming above our heads it would have even scared Alfred Hitchcock. The kids were being eaten alive.

At one point my 6-year-old came down from the camper with SP’s youngest. They had both been bitten about 10 times in the FACE!

5 minutes later, mine looked like she’s taken up a new career with Don King. One of her eyes was practically swollen shut! SP’s little one looked like Joseph Merrick! If Dr. Love hadn’t been there with the voice of reason, I would have FREAKED out and taken them directly to the emergency room, insisting they give us a bed for the night (hey, why not get something out of it).

BUT NO! He gave them both some Benedryl and they were on their way, playing with one good eye and a mutated forehead. Although, they are now both so traumatized they burst into tears at even the slightest buzzing sound.

I am not sure how many people are aware of this but they have taken DEET out of most bug repellents. Apparently it kills brain cells in lab rats so they’ve put out warnings and scared parents out of using it. Funny thing though, BUG REPELLENT DOESN’T WORK WITHOUT IT!! We stuck with the fire as the best solution and on Day 3 realized we had a bug net that attached around one of the Easy-Ups.

Besides the freakish bug attacks everyday, I can’t sleep in a tent. I swear each night felt like it was longer than the last. And the fact that DH doesn’t have that problem, and snores completely content in his happy-camping-dreamland makes me want to smother him with a sleepingbag.

By day four, I’m done. I rolled out of the tent around 7 AM poured myself a cup of camp coffee, which includes the chewy stuff, and a shot of vodka and started praying for the moment we’d be rolling out of there. We made it home Sunday around 7 PM. I was so relieved to take a shower and pee in an indoor toilet I almost cried.

As Dr. Love so eloquently put it, “camping just isn’t my cup of tea.”

Oh… and the Rockin’ Tan I was so excited about… turns out, it was just dirt.
　

Politics and Police

It will be easy to keep writing this Blog if nights like last night keep happening. I was keeping my nephews and decided to invite BFF, Smarty Pants and her hubby, Dr. Love over for dinner. We made homemade pizzas and let the kids play outside. For the most part they were really good, teaching each other how to ride a skateboard and ridding anything with wheels down our really steep driveway.

At some point the kids decided to have a screaming contest. My ten-year-old nephew always wins. He screams this blood curdling, horror show, woman in the shower being stabbed multiple times scream, that he is indeed quite proud of. Which in this case, not only warranted me hollering at him out the window to KNOCK IT OFF, but also must have alerted the neighbors to the “domestic abuse” situation brewing at the Sanstra’s!

About this same time, a political discussion arose in the kitchen among the adults. Anyone who knows us knows we are on polar sides politically with the men in our lives. In fact nearly every friend I have, cancels out the votes of her husband. This leads to some very… um… active discussions.

SO… while officer Michelle is approaching our house because of the domestic abuse call they have received she hears arguing ensuing inside the hacienda! She calls for backup.

At the same moment the doorbell rings several of our kids run in through the backdoor hollering, “THE COPS ARE HERE! THE COPS ARE HERE!”

Dr. Love heads to the front door with me following close behind. Man-Eating Dog is also on his heals. Dr. Love sees the policewoman at the door and not wanting to make the situation worse by having Man-Eating DOG stirring up more trouble, (not sure yet if he's a cop eating dog too!)only opens the door a crack. Not to make ourselves look ANYMORE incriminating, he doesn’t know where the light switches are, so the porch and hallway are completely dark.

Officer: “We’ve had a report of a woman screaming at this residence, can I come in?”

Dr. Love: “Seriously, um… I have a big dog here.”

Officer: “You’re gonna need to let me in, and can you turn on some lights?”

I arrive at the door, grab M.E.D and drag him out back at the same time flipping on the lights. When I get back to the door, all 7 kids and 4 adults are now in attendance in the front hall, with a very BIG, unhappy looking policewoman.

Officer: “We’ve had a call about possible domestic abuse at this house and then I pull up and hear arguing.”

Me: “Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed, the kids were screaming outside.”

Officer: “No ma’am this was reported as a woman screaming.”

Me: “Well we are really loud, but we were just having a political conversation. I’m Susanne and I live here.” I put my hand out to shake her hand.

Smarty Pants introduces herself too and tries to shake her hand as well, the officer points at her.

Officer: “It was you.”

Smarty Pants: “Really? I mean I don’t think I was screaming.”
Officer: “No it was definitely you!”

SP: “Well I am Italian.”I am trying not to laugh. The officer tells us with her very authoritative hand motion to SHUT THE HELL UP, and talks into her shoulder radio.

Officer: “This is 244 reporting, cancel back up. Repeat- no need for back up.”

Me: “Seriously, we were just having a political discussion. They are republicans (gesturing to the guys) and we’re democrats.

Officer: “I’m on their side.” She say’s as she steps closer to Dr. Love.

Dr. Love reads the situation quickly, I mean he’s had all that medical training and he’s quick to react, right? He takes this Golden Opportunity to voice his opinion again on the subject we had been discussing.

Me (to Dr. Love): “Seriously, you’re going to start on me again? We’ve already had the cops called on us.”

Dr. Love: “Yeah, but she’s on my side.”

The officer eventually left to attend to an injury accident and we all laughed about the situation for hours after.

To the neighbor who called 911 – Thank you! It’s good to know if I was being stabbed to death in the shower scene of a horror show, someone would alert the police!

To my nephew - Dude, hit puberty already!

And To my Friends - NEVER A DULL MOMENT! LOVE YA!!

You look so Familiar

I haven’t written anything in a while. After a criticism cut too close to me I lost some of the pleasure of it all. After reading The Wednesday Sisters by Meg Waite Clayton, I feel a little better. I am anxious to start again.

I enjoy and appreciate all the people who’ve told me they miss this blog. It’ll never be truly gone because it is beyond me to keep things, thoughts, ideas to myself. This part of my writing is a simple release. I do it to express a thought that’s important to me, or to explore an idea or situation that I found funny. It is not to be taken too seriously.

If you can’t read what I write with that thought in mind, I would prefer you didn’t read it at all.

SO! Here’s a recap of the last few months. We took a trip to Spain, which was fabulous, yes, I did find the Worlds Best Chocolate Cake and it was actually the BEST!

The kid’s school year ended with one finishing kindergarten and one finishing 2nd grade.

They are now on summer break and bored to tears. They ask me for a snack every five minutes and pick a fight with each other every ten.

We got a new rabbit that looks a lot like an Ewok. Her name is Gracie.

Much to my surprise, the man-eating dog got along fabulously with the dog-sitting-man during our trip to Spain.

Our old yellow lab is still holding on, although DH reminds me everyday he won’t make it much longer. Course, he’s been saying this for a few years now so I don’t really listen.

I allowed my hairdresser to add many, MANY more blond streaks to my hair in an attempt to jolt DH and get his undivided attention. I called and told him I’d gone blond. When he got home he said, “It’s not really blond.” That was the end of that conversation…

The best conversation I’ve had in a while was with my best friend’s FIL (Father In Law). They came over to my house for lunch while they were in town visiting. We were sitting in my living room chatting when he looked at me intently and said, “You look so familiar.”

Me: “I think I have a familiar face, people tell me that all the time.”

FIL: “Well I watch that show on HBO called the Bunny Ranch.”

Me: “Huh?”

FIL: “Did you ever work in Vegas?”

It took me about 30 seconds to realize he just asked me if I’d ever worked as a prostitute in Vegas. I smiled, as MIL stuttered, “NO! She looks like Jill Taylor.”

FIL: “Who the hell is Jill Taylor?”

MIL: “You remember Tim the Tool Man’s wife?”

This is the reason you don’t invite anyone else’s in-laws to your house… ever.

Other than that, it’s been pretty quiet around here. DH and I will be celebrating 10 years in Aug. I am also looking forward to both my kids being in school full time. DH will be working from home now, which leads to lots of fun phone conversations to the basement. I will be sure to keep you apprised.

Boot Scootin' FABOOSH!

I have been sitting at my computer today for hours looking over all the fabulous pictures from the weekend. They are just so fun!

Smarty Pants and I decided when we first took on the big BOOT SCOOTIN’ BOOGIE fundraiser for our school, that aside from doing our best to make money, we also wanted people to have fun.

I think we accomplished that!!!

First off, we hired DJ Jazzy Jeff, which was the BEST idea ever. I know I don’t do this much in the blog, but I’m actually going to use his real name because if you’re looking for a great DJ, he’s the guy to pick. RockCandy Professional DJ’s, Adam Krolicki.

I handed Adam a 6-page script ten minutes before the event began and he worked it all out beautifully. He was fun during all the raffles and played GREAT music that people really wanted to dance to…and to add icing to the DJ cake… he’s a great dancer!!

He took Smarty Pants and me out for a spin. He whirled, twirled and threw us around the dance floor. I seriously forgot how much I love to dance! It was FABOOSH! (that’s my new favorite word) He was seriously the best choice we made through the whole planning business.

We have been getting comments from so many people and the one thing they all tell us is how much fun they had! I’m so happy about that. At first I really thought the only thing that would matter at the end was how much money we made. We did make TONS of money … but the more our friends and the teachers and staff at the school tell us how much fun they had, the happier I feel.


So, I guess our kids will continue to learn, with schoolbooks and desks and chairs and all they deem necessary, and we helped the best way we could, but the BEST absolute BEST thing that came out of all of this is Smarty Pants!

Thanks for being a true friend! I love you!

Ran into God today

Went for a run this morning and for a second I thought I’d stepped through the magical wardrobe into a whole new world. We got a good foot or so of snow last night. This morning however the sun was shining so I decided to venture out. I told DH if it was too cold I’d only go around the block and come back.

I picked my clothing carefully… running pants and top covered by a LES sweatshirt, warm ear covering and bright PINK gloves. The pink makes me feel happy.

I headed out listing to my iPod play Diva, “I’m a, I’m a, I’m a, a diva. A Diva is a female version of a hustler…” It starts me out… well… in the right mood…

I turned the corner from our street out to the main road and that’s when it happened, the entire world turned into a fabulous, magical portrait. I was running down the black top, which was met, on either side, by a perfect white blanket of snow that sparkled in the sunlight. The trees lined on both sides of the street are pine trees and the green of their needles looked vastly different with the contrast of the white snow, which lay delicately on each branch. The colors were startling and incredible.

Just as I was trying to take in this perfect picture that is my home, the wind blew ever so slightly and glitter flew down from the trees dusting me gently with snowflakes. I looked up to notice the perfect blue of the sky peeking out from the forest green branches of the trees…

Smoking COW!!

Um… necessary side bar… my daughter came up with Smoking Cow when she was two. Apparently, I say Holy Smokes or Holy Cow a lot when I’m talking. So one day we went to visit my grandma who lives on the eight floor of her building. When we stepped off the elevator, my daughter looked out the window and exclaimed, “Smoking Cow we’re up high!” It has become my favorite expression of wonder and awe…

Needless to say, I ran the whole four miles. When I got to our big open field and turned the corner to be completely surrounded by mountains with the vast open space, a perfect shining carpet of white for miles, I thought about God. I could have been sitting in a church today, listening to a sermon about morality or the rules or path to enlightenment, but I have to tell you… nothing would have made me feel closer, nothing could have been more real to me than what I experienced in the ONLY church, I know for a fact God created.