The Power of the Blog!

Let me start by saying, I feel bad. Really, I do.

I was raised Catholic and the guilt sneaks up on you at mysterious times like these...

Cat is gone.

Friday night, Good dog was having a bad night. He was pretty crippled up and Hubby and I were having a hard time. We thought maybe this was the end. He couldn't get comfortable, the arthritis is now affecting his front shoulders so he can't lift his head. He was really having a terrible time.

At some point, Cat goes out. No big deal. Cat is an outside cat. We've seen this bad boy back down even the biggest foxes in the neighborhood. He has no fear and often brings home his kill to share. I hardly paid any notice to the fact he was out.

So, a day goes by... then two... no cat. Dog is feeling better. The miracle of drugs. ***SLIGHT Side bar*** Hubby still doesn't like the idea that we are paying for expensive drugs to mask the effects of the arthritis in Good dog. Don't get me wrong, he LOVES this dog. He just thinks we are paying a ton on band aids, knowing full well we can't fix him. Makes you wonder... what happens when I need expensive medications? Think he'll want to put me down too?

ANYWHO... (my favorite word of late, can ya tell?) Today, I think... hmmm... cat's been gone a while now. Wonder where he is? I decide to search the perimeter for signs of a struggle. No fluff or cat bones, no blood, nothing. Checked the snow tracks trying to see something out of the ordinary, nothing, dog prints, deer prints everything checks out. Couldn't find my CSI Kit to check for fingerprints, so I gave up. Surely he'll come back.

I go from my yard to the mailbox where I receive an ominous looking letter from the neighbor. Dear Neighbor, Just want to inform you, I saw TWO Mountain Lions circling your house on Saturday night. Please keep pets and children inside.

Wow! Too late for that little bit of advice...

Hubby still thinks he might come back. Please! I'm not the brightest bulb, but cat missing, plus two mountain lions, does not equal happily ever after.

I broke the news to the kids. One cried. The other asked if we could get another cat. I'm not falling for that again.

I know this sounds terrible, I seriously feel bad for not liking him in the first place, but I can rest assured tonight he won't jump out and bite me from under the bed.

The Defeat of Desperaux

I have no business writing right now. I should be baking and wrapping and cleaning and cooking and generally getting ready for the whirlwind that’s Christmas. But, alas… I must. Besides, I’ve made myself a promise not to flip out this year. The year of the ESPN Game Station taught me that…but THAT’s another story.

The kids and I just returned from seeing The Tales of Desperaux. I have to admit I am flummoxed by it. The movie was really not much like the book and some of the decisions that were made, to make it (I am assuming) more “Theatrical”, make no sense at all.

Why did they have to change the chef from a woman to a man? What in the world was with the vegetable man?? Some of the choices that were made took this story from an incredible fairy tale complete with princesses and heroes to a confusing, crazy tale.

I need someone that didn’t read the book, but has seen the movie, to comment. Did you like it at all? This was one of the best books I’ve read in a while. The story line was more subtle in the book. Although, the author did often talk directly to the reader, I don’t think she said it quite so plainly as in the movie.

The story is that of grief, how great an emotion it is, and how it leads from one reaction to another, affecting more people than you can realize. Then, BIG STORY SPOILER, how forgiveness is the only emotion greater. They did get this moral across but not without flat out SAYING it in the movie.

My kids were mad about the cat, no cat in the book, and it seemed the Kitty saved the day more than Desperaux did, and I’m pretty sure the rats were never going to eat the princess. Who by the way was never called by her name in the movie. She was just “the Princess”.

I was pretty excited to go see this movie today, and if you can’t already tell, pretty disappointed in the outcome. People you need to READ THE BOOK!! Read it to your kids, read it to yourself, just read it. Then let me know what you think. I can’t imagine that the author, Kate DiCamillo is happy with the outcome. I’d actually love to hear what she thinks.

Okay, that’s my rant for today, I have high hopes for “Bolt” and “Bedtime Stories” we’ll see how those turn out. Back to making Christmas “Happen” for my family. Isn’t it great how magical it appears when really it’s a TON of work. That’s another blog too…

Buttery Christmas Bliss

You know the Christmas season has officially gone into full swing when you’ve gone to one of those present exchange games and come home with the Naughty, Naughty Christmas Kit.

My party was last Friday. It was our Desperate Housewives Christmas gift exchange and let me tell you those women can shop! The gifts were so great!! There were 30 some ladies all dressed in their holiday outfits~ sparkles and glitter all around. Everyone brought a yummy treat to share and there was of course a little libation pouring as well.

I have never been to one of the DH events (that’s not really what they call it, it’s the Mothers Group, but I like my title better). So, I only knew about half of the gals that attended. The hostess is a very good friend and she flicked me…hard… when I wavered about going. SO I WENT! And I’m so glad I did.

After the gals ate a bit and chit chatted a little catching up and meeting one another, it was time for the game to begin. You know how it’s played, if you don’t you must not get invited to parties much… in any case, I picked number 3! Not a very good pick. This number guarantees you will be choosing more than one gift and probably going home with a stinker.

I picked a beautiful white angel that was very quickly stolen. Not long after my pick, a lovely older woman, whom I don’t know, chose her gift. She unwrapped the Naughty, Naughty Christmas Kit. I honestly don’t know this lady’s age but I’m here to tell you she probably wouldn’t know what to do with the fuzzy red handcuffs or the step-by-step instructional guide. I am pretty sure that ship had sailed…

As the game played on, I had for a moment, a lovely set of Christmas plates, and then once again stolen my angel back. The entire time I was waiting for someone who knew this lovely gal to take the Naughty Christmas gift and give her another shot. Out of all of the incredible gifts of the night only two were of sexual nature. How is it that one of them was chosen by the oldest member of the group?

Finally, my turn came up again as someone stole my angel for the third time. I had a momentary flash of my grandma in the fuzzy red handcuffs and after a stiff shot of something one of the gals brought (buttery nipple babies???) knew what I had to do. I stole the Naughty Christmas gift from Grandma. The entire room erupted, all singing my praises for my selfless act, saving Christmas for this little old lady. If they only knew how happy hubby was when I came home with my gift.

After that the party really started, Hostess with the Mostest opened the package and began reading the instructional guide. Little helpful tips like, “Sensuality is a must in any romantic relationship and believe it or not, the skin is the body’s largest organ, which makes it the most important part of your sensuality!” Grandma fainted, and more of the buttery shots went around.

Next thing I knew I was handcuffed to Hostess. I laughed so hard I peed my pants, and somehow the entire night passed in a butter shot blur. The Hostess ate an entire plate of cream cheese with jelly and in fact almost kicked someone’s ass for trying to throw it out. (I later heard from her that butter shots and cream cheese with jelly really isn’t a good idea and should be remembered as such in the future.)

At one thirty in the morning, my darling designated driver dropped my buttery butt home. I crawled into my bed next to hubby mumbling something about pictures of me handcuffed to Hostess posted on the Internet and fell asleep in Christmassy bliss! Fabulous, Fabulous party! SO happy that I attended and no matter how selfless you think I was being that night, the Naughty, Naughty Christmas gift will be the present I remember the most of 2008!

Scattered Leaves

I’ve been feeling really scattered lately. My household has been sick. First it was my kids and then they transferred all those yummy germs to me. Today is the third day I've been under the weather, it’s almost 9pm and I still feel like I’ve been run over by the virus bus. When the kids are sick, nothing gets done. They want to snuggle on the couch and watch movies together. They want me to be near them.

I tried very hard to be in the moment. To appreciate that time with them, knowing it won’t always be that way. When they get a bit bigger it will be about being alone, to themselves, probably in their rooms. A little older still and they will have friends, and loved one’s to take care of them, it won’t always be me they’re asking for, so I did my best to forget the laundry piling up and the dishes and dinners, and I held them and watched movies and I let them cough in my face…

Now they are in their beds, it’s quiet in my house and I am trying to find the little piece of me that I like the most, the creative piece. The one that works to see through things and understands things through the words that pile up on the page.

I always feel scattered when I haven’t been writing for a while. It’s back to the basics. I need to get back on track. There is a song on my iPod, it’s sung by Bo Bice but it’s a remake. I love it! It’s called “I Don’t Want to Be.” The lyrics are “I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately. Part of where I’m going, is knowing where I’m coming from. All I have to do is think of me and I’ve got piece of mind. I don’t want to be anything other than me.”

I think of these lyrics a lot, I love to run to this song. It motivates me. I really do want to be exactly who I’ve been trying to be lately. I still do, totally stupid things, say stupid things, and I am the type of person that really obsesses over those things. For day’s I berate myself for something I said, or how I said it or what I THOUGHT you thought about what I said. It’s really ridiculous. My first battle is always to forgive myself for not being perfect. For sometimes saying the wrong thing.

But the truth is, I wouldn’t really change anything about myself. I know that life is what you make of it and I make an effort everyday to at least enjoy my journey. I am typically a pretty happy person. It takes a lot to tick me off and most of the time when I am mad, it’s more at myself than anyone else. I am reminded quite often that the journey is a short one.

My iPod is now playing Barenaked Ladies ~ “If I Had A Million Dollars.” This one’s pretty motivating too!

If I had a million dollars I’d build a tree fort in our yard.

If writers listen to music to motivate themselves what do you suppose musicians do to motivate themselves?

Anywhootie… the basics…

Living well, becoming the person I intend to be, finding peace and solitude among the many errands that I cherish, forgiving myself for my imperfectness, enjoying the journey… what else is there?

Are you my Soul Mate?

I believe in soul mates. A group of us talked about this last night at a party. Most people had the opposite opinion. How can it be that we have only one person that is meant to be? Surely it’s more about the work you do to stay in touch and in love.

Wikipedia says, “Soulmate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/ or compatibility.

I like this definition. This definition is not so much about the person we are meant to be with and marry, as it is about two people that immediately like and admire each other. I’ve had this with a few people not all of them I chose to marry.

Wade is the person I am supposed to be married to. I didn’t know this immediately. In fact, I walked down the aisle with great doubt. Over the years I have grown to know and love this man like no other. I know he is my soul mate.

But I have other soul mates that are equally important to me. My sister is one of them. I didn’t choose her and she didn’t choose me but we’ve been tied to each other through this life and I know she makes a difference. I enjoy having her in my daily life and I know I wouldn’t be the same without her as my confidant. I have a deep affinity, a friendship and love for her.

I have also had friends and even acquaintances with whom I’ve felt the same. It’s someone you meet and just know you like them immediately. You look in their eyes and feel something familiar, something comfortable. Sometimes that develops into a great long lasting friendship, sometimes they are in my life for a short time and then they’re gone. Either way, I value the moments I’ve had with them and know I have met someone I was supposed to meet.

I really like the idea that these are the people who travel through time with us. Soul Mates are the ones that we find from one life to the next. That’s why they feel familiar. We’ve known them before.

So do I believe in soul mates? Yep… sure do, I believe if we are lucky, we pick one to marry, but they are also the family members we are the closest to, as well as the friends and acquaintances we connect with in our lives.

Beware of CAT!

I haven't been posting lately because I use my procrastination time on FaceBook now. Nothing like Flinging Food or throwing virtual snow balls to keep you off track. Love it.

Anywho... dog is fine. Seems he has nine lives. At least I'm hoping so. Popped the little barker full of pain killers for a few days and the next thing you know he's off roaming the neighborhood.

Cat on the other hand is walking a very thin line. Some of you may know this about me... I'm not exactly a cat lover, at least not this cat. He bites. Hard. For no apparent reason. He is totally an outside cat and, the one upside, loves to eat mice. Now that it's getting cold outside, snow and all that, he's spending more and more time inside. Biting me.

I can't tell you what it's like to live with an animal by choice that sneak attacks you around corners to sink his sharp little feline teeth into your ankle. I shake my leg as hard as I can and the vicious beast still won't let go.

Lately, he's taken to sleeping on my bed. It's like having a wicked, little, attack dog, lying in wait. Hmmm... how can I sneak past and slip in to the covers without him noticing? His ears fold back, the first sign of the attack, then he hisses at you... okay, I'll sleep on the couch, you have the bed.

My neighbor just sent me an email to let me know her attack cat died the other morning. Luck would have it the little darling had kidney failure and dropped dead on the floor of a stroke. Anyone know how I can get my cat to do that?

Besides hating my cat, we're just gearing up for the holidays. I love my 13 foot tree! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy every time I look at it. The snow is falling as I write this, creating the perfect snowy, do nothing, day. I like to wander out to my sun room when it's snowing. I look around and pretend I live in a snow globe.

We're also busy building lasting memories for the kiddos. We let them sled in the dark the other night. Now my little one has a beastly cold, but the doctor assures me it wasn't the night air. (tell my mother-in-law!)

I think I'll go make fudge after I write this. I realize it's a few weeks early, but if I have to, I can always make a second batch! Please let me know if anyone is looking for a cat for Christmas I have the perfect little Scrooge to fit the bill.

I'm worried about my dog. Our lab, our buddy for the last 12 years. He has arthritis all through his back. He's had some pain, and some trouble from it now and again, but we never put him on any permanent medication. We always just gave him a pill if he needed it and he'd bounce right back.

Now, he can't really walk. He's dragging his back foot and he keeps falling down. We have stairs all over the house and I'm worried he'll try and go down and he'll fall. I'm also struggling to keep the puppy from hurting him worse. My Berner is just such a big beast. We're keeping them pretty separate right now.

I'm avoiding the call to the vet. I don't want her to tell me there isn't anything she can do. So far he doesn't seem to be in any pain. He just can't walk.

This dog was our first commitment to each other. Before we even got engaged. It's like... okay, we can own a dog together. Wade wanted a hunting dog, and he picked him out. He was such a cute puppy. Turns out, not much of a hunting dog. He's about the laziest Lab you'd ever meet. When Wade would take him bird hunting he'd chase after the birds once, maybe twice, then Wade would turn around wondering where the dog went. He'd be curled up on the leather seats of the truck waiting for Wade to come back.

Wade's always thought this was his dog... please... he's mine. He protects me when Wade's gone. He loves me always, he's the best dog I've ever known. I think many people that know him would say the same thing. He's always just had the sweetest spirit. I know I need to do what's best for my buddy now, I just know, I'll miss him so much.

Cheering myself!

I've been writing all morning. In fact right this second I really need to pee! It's going so well, the story is playing out wonderfully! I have big hopes and a serious need to tell this story right. I'm doing everything I can not to edit myself at this point. I'm just truckin' along typing my little heart out. I think I'm finished for the day, but I hit a milestone. I'm at 10,075 words. Yeah, me!

Ode to Wade

Once upon a time
In a town called Jewel
There lived a darling girl
Who was no fool.

She spent her younger years
Dating around
Only to find
The men were all clowns.

Until one day
When the moon was right
Along came the prince
And my…what a sight.

He was dressed all in camouflage
From his head to his toe
And he carried a gun
For fighing? Oh no!

He was a mighty hunter
Who killed only to eat.
He brought the young lass
Pig, Chicken and Meat!

Her heart was a flutter
As this gent knelt down.
Her hand was the question
But it was met with a frown.

Will you always love me
More than the hunt?
The answer she expected
Came out as a grunt.

And just as she thought
She might still take this man
Along came a big Buck
And away he ran.

The moral of this story
Has one big but ~
Only take a hunter for a husband
If you enjoy a good rut!

Love Letter

Last night, I was cleaning up the kitchen when my sister called. She was crying. She said "You won't believe this. Listen to what I found." Then she began reading a love letter.

A letter to Lisa on her first anniversary from her husband Steve. He started out by saying the first anniversary is paper, so he thought he'd write her a letter. He described their wedding, the way he felt when she walked down the aisle, full of happiness and hope. How she made him feel everyday after and how lucky he was to have her. He described their future full of children and success, he told her as long as he had her, he would be alright. It was a long letter. A great letter.

I wondered this morning if he thought about her reading it. Did he imagine 60 years from that moment, her pulling out the letter and reading... happy about the life they shared? Maybe he imagined her on their 25th or even 50th anniversary. All the letters he would have written by then, reminding her of his love.

Well, this story didn't turn out like that. This January 15th marks the third anniversary of Steve's death. His future was as bright as his letter foretold. They had two kids, they had a happy marriage. They both found a love most people only dream of and then it was gone.

Lisa told me she honestly hadn't remembered he wrote the letter. She had forgotten all about it. Her boys wanted to see pictures of their wedding and she pulled out a book the guests from the wedding wrote in, and the letter fell out onto the floor. Their first anniversary, all came back to Lisa as this perfect memory. This was the present he gave her. They lived in a cheap little apartment and they had just begun their lives. When he wrote this letter, the future was bright and full of promise.

I know, this is the reason I write. The boys were only 6 and 9 when their dad died. I immediately started writing about the whole situation. Their grief, the baby steps we all took to healing. I wanted them to have something they could go back to later, whenever they needed to reflect on the time in their lives that changed everything. I've kept everything.

That's what the letter is for Lisa. It's a reminder from Steve, sent at a time when she needs to remember. The Holidays have begun for us. They have been really hard the last two years. Sam's birthday is Nov 2nd. Then Thanksgiving, the holiday Lisa and Steve always hosted. Christmas, a time no kid should be without a parent.

Their anniversary, on New Years Eve. This would have been 15 years. What would the letter say this year? Then Jack's birthday which is also the anniversary of Steve's death. I almost hate to see them come. I have hope, though. Belief that these days will be better than the last, and next year~ better still.

As for the letter, I'm so grateful she has it. I told her to read it to the boys. They need to hear how much their dad loved their mom. It's difficult to know she's lost this love, but it's also nice to be reminded how great that love was. This letter seems to be a gentle reminder from a man that is greatly missed to appreciate our loved one's and to let them know how important they are to us. I think, I'll go write my own love letter. Maybe you could do the same?

Right on Track

The idea for the book I'm writing now, came from a true story of a POW in Vietnam. It's a story that came to me over and over again in strange ways, and has haunted me ever since. It's really been over a year or longer, the story has been rattling around in my head. I feel compelled to tell it.

I began writing it and very quickly went off track. I hated what I'd written and was disillusioned about whether I could actually tell the story the way I'd envisioned or not. When NaNoWriMo, came up I thought it the perfect way to start over. I scraped the first version off the page into the trash and started over. I am very excited about the way this second one has begun, but I found myself worrying about rushing through it.

This story feels so important to me. So instead of trying to finish 50,000 words in one month, I am going to use NaNoWriMo to motivate and drive me to continue this book, but I'm not going to worry about getting to the 50,000 mark as much as just keep writing.

Because of this decision, I decided I could spend some more time researching this week. I really need to feel wrapped up in Vietnam in order to write about it like I've lived it. So yesterday I went to the book store. I left my two kids in the children's section and headed for History and War to find a couple of books. I knew my kids wouldn't last long, so I hurried. I pulled three books off the shelf. The first was a history of the war, the second a story of the waiting wives back home, and the third a book of POW survivor stories.

Last night I picked up the POW stories and began to read. Within the first chapter I found the name of the exact POW I'm writing about! It's amazing! This book tells the stories of seven different men, (I call them men although at 18, 19 years old they were really just boys) and one of the men knew and talked about my guy throughout his chapters! It's just another affirmation that I'm on the right track. Out of all the books on Vietnam and all the POW's, I picked a book off a shelf in five minutes and ended up picking the EXACT book I needed.

Isn't life great?!

My excitement and confidence is renewed. I'm reading and thinking and writing~ and I'm happy. I know I can do this right. Next week when I'm off track again, because I'm sure I'll loose all this confidence and excitement, I'll just read this little blog and try and find my happy place once again...

Kids say the Darndest things...

I've got to write about my son today. We've had the funniest day. Let me start by telling you his teacher is 27 years old, and CUTE! I wouldn't write about that, except it needs to be said in order to understand the scale of my embarrassment. I volunteer in his class once a week and honestly, I try and forget the fact he's the same age as my "baby" brother.

Anyway, today cute teacher says, I can spend a little time checking the kids work books to make sure they are all on track. I've had a bit of trouble with my son, actually doing his work and not spending most of the afternoon drinking as much water as possible to ensure as many trips to the bathroom as he can fit into a single afternoon, so I decide to check his work first.

Spelling book ~ on track!
Handwriting ~ looking good!
Vocabulary ~ two words for the day. First word, fabulous, they need to write the definition and then come up with a sentence using the word. Then they get to draw a picture depicting their sentence.

I get to the second word. The word is flexible. Definition: willing or able to make changes. Then I read my kids sentence...

My mom is so flexible, she can touch her head to her toes! ummm.... OH MY GOD!! All I could do was laugh! I briefly considered grabbing him by the shirt and asking him, "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT??"

Then all I could think about was the big pink eraser, where the hell is the big pink eraser? Immediately afterward we got called out of the room to go rehearse our Veterans Day celebration. I never did get to erase the sentence.

When I told my friends what he wrote we laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. We have had a very funny day... and I'm sure cute teacher and I will have plenty to discuss at parent teacher conferences, and I am SO glad he didn't have time to draw the picture!

Proud of My Country!

I am so happy today. I believe President Obama is going to be GREAT!

It was a fun night. My sister and a great friend and I sat at the bar until we got the west coast. We cheered and celebrated and then went home to watch the speeches.

I feel a little sad for John McCain. I think he is a great man. I think he failed when he picked Sarah Palin. His speech last night was great. I believe him when he says he will work with Obama to make our country better. And that's what we need to be... better.

GO VOTE!!!

History making day today. Do you're part~ Go vote! A few friends and I are going to sit at our little dive bar in town and do shots whenever the Dems take a state. Hopefully we'll be dancing on the tables early in the night.

Had a good writing day yesterday. Word count is 2573. I know I'm still behind. I'm supposed to write 1667 words per day to stay on track. Should be at 6668 by tonight. But as I said before I'll be dancing on tables tonight... which means I'll be even more behind and probably writing with a hangover tomorrow.

That's okay, I just feel good that I'm writing again, and not editing while I'm going is pretty great too. I just don't feel like I have to worry about it yet. We'll see, one really good day and maybe I'll catch up.

Rats!

320 pieces of pizza, 240 brats, 300 hotdogs, 90 Philly cheesesteaks, 100 pretzels, 140 baked potatoes, 80lbs of Nacho cheese, and ga’zillions of gallons of chili, which my dear friend Sue made!

We’re havin’ a party!! Fall Festival this weekend for our school. Great weather, tons of games and fun for the whole family, can’t wait! I’ve been busy hunting and gathering. I’m doing food for the third year. I love it. Everyone knows the party’s always in the kitchen.

I’ve also been working very hard on my costume. I know I’m blowing the surprise for my friends that read the blog, but… oh, well.

I’m gonna be Ratasuzie!! Kinda like Ratatouille, only ME! Nothin’ like havin’ a rat cook your food.

Because of this fun filled weekend, I’m starting my NaNo WriMo late. Monday’s day one, and then I’ll have to take off Tuesday for the election, pins and needles, pins and needles… then it’s full on Carpal Tunnel here we come.

Happy Halloween! And Good luck waking the kids after Day Light Savings!

NaNo WriMo

I decided to try NaNo WriMo. Its the National Novel Writing Month contest to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I signed up this morning but it doesn't start until November 1st. I love this kind of thing. Obviously it's not going to be the best writing I've ever done, but I've been hung up lately editing myself. I spend too much time trying to rewrite the five pages I've already written and spend very little time writing new words.

This is going to force me to just shut up and write. If I don't blog much in November at least you'll know why. Every last word I can make my fingers type needs to be included in the contest. I'm so glad I started drinking coffee again... surely that'll help.

You know... I'm kinda scared.

Back to drinking Coffee

Yeah so that coffee thing.... I broke down yesterday over a Pumpkin Latte. Besides I missed my Barack Obama coffee mug.

Folklore Foul

I just received an email entitled: We learn the “truth” behind Snopes.com. Basically the email discredits the website as fact based and states that it’s run by a husband and wife. “No big office of investigators and researchers, no team of lawyers it’s just a mom and pop shop.” It goes on to say the couple that own and operate the site are “jewish- very Democratic (party) and extremely liberal.”

Hmmm…

My RA (Republican Aunt) recently questioned me about the validity of FactCheck.org. Apparently when the site debunks rumors about Obama it’s being biased and liberal as well. Actually, I think that every source I have used in political debates with folks from the Republican side have been questioned, ridiculed and found “Unreliable”. Funny thing is, it was a dedicated Republican that gave me the FactCheck.org site as a valuable site for information.

I’m bothered by all of this. I have no idea if David and Barbara Mikkelson (the couple who started Snopes) are biased in their opinions. I’m not at all sure what being Jewish has to do with it!! Their web site seems to be a pretty valuable tool when trying to figure out if any random piece of information floating in the Internet atmosphere holds any truth, or not. They include on the web pages references~ the actual places they used to come up with the answer they are giving.

This reminds me of the good old days. Remember the one’s where we had to footnote things we wrote about? The days when we weren’t allowed to just make shit up? I wonder how my children will ever be able to discern any valuable information out of this mess we call the web.

FactCheck.org is funded by The Annenberg Foundation. The president and chairman of the Annenberg Foundation is Leonore Annenberg. She in fact, endorsed McCain for president on Oct. 8th. So if there is any bias coming from FactCheck it should be on the side of the Conservatives.

I realize there are few sites we can count on as unbiased and reliable. I think it’s sad that on any one thing we try to research we have to search through dozens of crazy links and decipher for ourselves the sites that seem “the most factual”.

I hate to get the emails about the missing kid (usually not true) or the one about the new US Dollar Coins that omit the motto “In God We Trust” (not true) or the 1000’s of petitions if you sign this and send it HERE you will get back $1000’s of dollars. I like the idea that I can go to a website and just check.

As a side note can I point out here that Email Petitions of any kind don’t work. If someone sends a petition out to 10 people with his name on the bottom and those 10 people sign it and send it out to 10 more, we now have 20 petitions with the same name on them. They send those out to 10 more, now 30 petition with the same name on them. I think you get the point.

Who do you think they hire to go through the millions of petitions name by name to cross of all of the signatures that are a repeat?~ If it pays well, I’ll take that job. Besides the fact that the signatures could all be fakes. No one is going to take an email petition seriously. Skip me when sending those –K?

All I can say is every thing we want to learn needs to be backed up by a somewhat reliable site – Texas Beeoches blog, is not one of those – and then common sense and reason has to be applied. Unfortunately fewer and fewer people seem to have inherited that little trait…

Energy and NOT the Nuclear kind

My sister and I had a very interesting weekend. We spent all day Sunday at a Brian Weiss seminar. Dr. Weiss is a graduate of Columbia University and Yale Medical School. He is also Chairman Emeritus of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami.

Dr. Weiss uses hypnosis to heal people through past life regression.

I’ve spent many days trying to process all that we experienced on Sunday. I think I am still trying to do that. I also read his book, Many Lives, Many Masters. In this first book, Dr. Weiss tells how he, as a skeptic and scientist, was led by a patient in hypnosis into the idea of Reincarnation.

I know… I’ve heard, many people think this is the strangest thing they’ve ever heard. People laughed and scoffed when I told them where I was going this weekend. My sister has even been called a devil worshiper for our time spent. Hang in there with me. I’ve got a lot to say on the subject. In fact, I think it’s going to take more than one post. Otherwise, I think it might look like I wrote my own book.

First of all let me tell you what he taught me about skepticism. A skeptic is someone that questions things. It is not someone that decides they don’t believe something without ever learning about it or experiencing it. That is an uninformed opinion. He told us right from the beginning that it’s okay to be a skeptic. I can say I fit in that category.

I also learned that Reincarnation and Christianity do not have to be a separate idea. It was actually apart of Christian teachings until 553AD when the Roman Church took it out and claimed any talk of reincarnation was heresy. They thought without the idea of damnation no one would follow their teachings. In December 1945 many of these early Christian teachings were unearthed in Upper Egypt.

There is also a misconception that Heaven can’t be a part of reincarnation. Dr. Weiss’s experience includes time in a place of rest and recuperation, healing and learning, not just zapping from one body to another. There is also no reincarnation to dogs or plants or trees, in his teaching. No black goats, sorry Jules…

I am not trying to say you should all believe in Reincarnation. I’m just saying that its possibilities have been around for a really long time and in more than one religion. I have always been open to the idea that while Jesus was a great teacher, his teachings were in the hands of man and great powers of the church. It is a possibility they didn’t like some of the things he taught and simply disregarded them. Especially 500 years after his death. Nobody even knew him anymore.

The majority of what I learned in our all day session was about energy. Not the kind that Obama and McCain are going on and on about, the kind that radiates from a person. This is something I have always been interested in. I think it’s a verifiable thing. Something we have some scientific facts about and something that I have, myself, experienced.

I can always feel another person’s energy. It doesn’t take a word or action for me to tell how someone is feeling. There is an overwhelming energy that is carried by every person. This is the way I pick the people I want to surround myself with.

In the seminar we went through four, different hypnosis. Two were to determine past lives, one was an energy sharing and one was health and healing.

First of all let me tell you, I love to be hypnotized. When I was in college at Wichita State University studying theater, we did something we called “going to zero”. It is basically a self-hypnosis to calm yourself and let your character become a part of who you are. I loved it! Any reason to lie around breathing deep and totally relaxing~ I’m in!

I like the thought of good energy and light entering my body while you exhale all the bad energy and stress. I am a terribly scattered, neurotic person. I know this. I have trouble compartmentalizing my thoughts. I can’t go from one thing to another without still thinking about the last thing. A little meditation, going to zero, and I am a completely different person.

I like that person better. So, in my search for the calm serene Susanne, I’ve stopped drinking coffee. All hell broke loose on day two, I actually thought I might die from my headache. Today…all better. I am getting up in the morning, making myself some decaf tea and trying to calm my mind. Even more important, between things, work to school, kids to work, I am trying to breath, relax and leave things behind.

I really like the way I have been feeling. I have so much more to say about this weekend and the class, but for now, I am moving on… I’ll tell you about the visualizations later. Let me just leave you with this... guess who believed in reincarnation?

Ben Franklin, Mark Twain, Henry Ford, Freidrich Nietzsche, Ralph Waldo Emerson, General George S. Patton, Albert Schweitzer, Socrates, George Harrison, and Walt Whitman just to name a few.

Drill, Baby Drill

I've been wandering the blog-osphere today, trying to figure out why I don't feel like writing. Maybe it's because I'm damn tired. My daughter had the stomach flu yesterday and much of last night. Very little sleep for me! I fooled myself at first thinking each time... surely her stomach is empty now... then after about the tenth time she puked on the sheets, I decided to "sleep" with her so I could at least thrust the bowl under her chin when she started to retch. Too much information... clearly you aren't a mom.

Anyway, after reading some of my favorite blogs, I came across this one by Kung Fu Monkey. He is a screenwriter and pretty funny fellow. REPUBLICAN FRIENDS WARNING*** you will probably not find humor in this post. Might want to skip this one. Also please don't send hate email , if you do I'll be forced to leave my dirty puke sheets on your doorstep!

Read it and then come back for a short commentary... go ahead... click the link...

Hi, you're back. Okay, truth is I've been to a strip club. I think only once, although I seriously don't think I would commit each time to memory, I'm sure they are all pretty much the same. This line was the one that made me shoot my latte' out my nose.

"Modern American Conservatives have sunk to the intellectual and emotional level of the guy who thinks the stripper really likes him."

I received a really funny email from another dem. friend of mine the other day. It was similar in nature. The email was entitled Sarah Palin Naked, written by a guy named Michael Seitzman and included this little jewel...

"I realized three things tonight. For one, if you are a McCain/Palin/Bush voter, you and I do not have a difference of opinion. We have a difference in brain power. Two, she really is as ignorant as I feared. And, three, she really is kinda hot. Basically, I want to have sex with her on my Barack Obama sheets while my wife reads aloud from the Constitution. (My wife is cool with this if I promise to "first wipe off Palin's tranny makeup." I married well.)"

So my question is... seriously?? Would you "Do" her? She scares the hell out of me. I realize I'm a woman and not fit to judge, but sometimes even straight women can see another female and think, wow! she's hot... SO not the case on this one. When I think of Palin, I think Myra Hindley or Mommy Dearest, certainly not the sexy librarian many men have been talking about lately.

I am a little frightened to think that in this crap shoot of an economy many people are feeling like it really doesn't matter who becomes our next president. I agree it's going to be a long hard battle to change many of the problems we are facing at this time. I do hope though, that the frustration level does not get to the point that we are voting for the babe we would most like to knock boots with, (thats an old saying my uncle used to use~ I still like it).

I'm really not that old, and haven't been voting for a long time, but I have to say NEVER in my voting history have I EVER thought of one of the politicians as someone I would "Do!" Just the thought right now, actually gave me the creeps... or maybe I'm just getting that stomach thing... anyway... I'm also wondering right now, if I will ever be able to hear the phrase "Drill, baby Drill." and not picture Palin given us a wink!

Printing Money

My son wanted to know what the highest denomination of bill he could save for. It started at $100. He wanted to save his allowance until he could trade his dad for an actual $100 bill. Fabulous, I thought, anything to teach him to save his money. My husband told him he thought the highest denomination was $10,000 but that there might be a $100,000 bill. I would do a cartwheel if the kid could save $1000 but whatever...

So this morning we looked on line together to find out what he could save for. We were totally disappointed. The highest bill in print today is the $100. At one time between 1934 and 1935 they printed a $100,000 but only for that short time. We are also no longer printing the $500, the $1000 or the $10,000.

I thought this says alot about our nation and the pickle we are currently in. People don't value good old fashioned cash anymore. It's so much better to have a shiny new CREDIT CARD!

My grandmother is the only one I knew that ever appreciated the good old fashioned dollar. When she died we were going through her clothes. I picked up my favorite dress of hers and for some reason checked the pockets~ out I pulled a $100 bill. We all laughed because she was known for stashing cash around the house. After that we had to check every pocket of every piece of clothing she owned and every nook and cranny of her house.

I guess I should be happy if at seven, my son saves even $100. I just wish we came up with at least a $500 bill just to challenge him!

Write Already Will Ya?

I got yelled at last night for not blogging lately. I know things have gotten in the way. Darling Hubby yelled at me the other day for not writing at all. He said I have the opportunity right now to do something that I love to do and I don’t spend any time doing it at all. He’s right. So today I took the day off of everything else to write.

I know blogging seems a bit like procrastinating, but I’m using it as a warm up. I just thought I’d update you on some of the things that take me away from doing the thing I love the best.

First of all, politics. Part of my family and I disagree very strongly about this years election. I get emails from them everyday questioning and slamming Obama and his ethics. This is the obsessive, neurotic part of me that can not simply hit delete when those messages come in. I spend time researching the issues at hand and then send my best thoughts or facts to debate their ideas. But I’ve decided it takes up too much of my time. I am not going to change their minds and they are not going to change mine, so I’m working on letting it go. I’ll let you know how it goes.

The other night I went to a friend’s house to watch the VP debates. Had a great time with some really fun and like-minded women. I love all my Republican friends, but sometimes it’s just nice to know no matter what you say, no one is going to argue with you. I have to tell you, I loved Saturday Night Live this past Sat. How did they know we were playing a drinking game?

My dog has been taking up a good portion of my time as well. The darling has decided that NO electronic fence will keep him in. He takes the hit and keeps on going. I wanted a big furry beast and I certainly got one. We had to build a fence in the backyard the last two weekends. It is now complete and Big Ass Puppy doesn’t think it’s very funny. He whines and complains worse than my 5-year-old daughter. He’s pretty sure he’s been wrongly accused and jailed. I do have to say it was nice to put up my Halloween decorations on the front porch and not worry that Beasty would ingest them all within a couple of minutes.

Besides all of that, my kids and school take up a huge part of my time. I have this strange guilt about it I can’t seem to shake. Because writing is not a REAL job, no ones paying for me to sit here, I can’t seem to prioritize it. My kids, their activities, their school comes first. Wade keeps telling me there are plenty of other mothers to volunteer in my place, but I can’t give it up.

I love to go on their field trips and to be in their classrooms. I am organizing their assemblies this year, which has been pretty fun. We also have sports and dance we do every week. Right now I only have two days a week with no kids. One of those days I follow them to school and volunteer in their classes.

I think the only option right now for me to write is to get up early or stay up late. That’s how I wrote the last book. For some reason since school started I just haven’t worked out my schedule well.

I just realized this warm up exercise has turned into full on distraction and procrastination. So instead of any more analyzing why I don’t write anymore, I think I’ll get myself another pot of coffee and JUST WRITE!

Affable, Neurotic, Simile Winner!

Hi! I went and worked out today with my friends RBF (Republican Best Friend) and MW4B (Mom with four boys). I didn't eat breakfast before I went, which I completely regretted. Anyway, food has been on my mind pretty much all day. I just found this recipe and although I don't know Becky or her Aunt Lyla~ I thought it sounded great. I've made Monkey Bread before but not with butterscotch pudding~~ YUMMY! Also I've always used refrigerator biscuits but since you're leaving this out over night, the bread's probably a better idea. Unless you're like me and you can't even set the coffee pot the night before, let alone think about making a bread… then just use the biscuits, roll each ball into the butter and then into the butterscotch, brown sugar and nuts throw it into the pan and then go ahead and bake.

Becky's Aunt Lyla's Amazing Monkey Bread Grease a bundt pan. Line with 18 frozen Bridgeford or Rich brand dinner rolls (or whatever brand you can find.) Sprinkle 1 package regular (not instant) butterscotch pudding mix, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1 stick melted butter, and 1/2 cup pecans over the rolls. Cover with foil and a dish towel (I don't know what the dish towel is for but that's what she says, so you better do it.) Set on the counter overnight. The next morning, bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes, invert, and get ready to die of happiness!

Also just wanted to tell you about my fabulous weekend. The writer’s conference was so fun! I took lots of valuable classes and also a couple my darling hubby would find questionable, but I loved them!!

I took a guided Hypnosis~ Finding your inner muse (by the way her name is Abigail, she lives in my grandma’s house and she has a ferocious eel with teeth, I have no idea why...)

I also took Inspirational writing, which wasn’t what you would think… it’s about using your meditative instincts and writing from your heart. Loved it!!

I also won a contest. It was the prestigious Simile Writing Contest. They gave us the form at the beginning and I never thought of it again. Then Sat. morning our Convention Goddess reminded us to turn them in. I only had ten minutes before my next class. The form had a list of words, to use in the simile. Let me just say, I never thought I would win!!

WINNING SIMILE: HER SIMILE WAS AS RIDICULOUS AS A CORNDOG WAITING FOR A BONE!

There were two other winners and one guy who won without writing a simile at all. (Similar, but not simile, to an Apple Pie Baking Contest won by my mother with a Pecan pie!) He wrote a limerick that I won’t repeat here but it used the word Nantucket!

It was a great time. I think even Hubby had a blast. When I came down Saturday night at 5:30 done with my classes for the day, he was sitting in the lounge surrounded by writers. No seriously, he was even talking to them.

One last part of the weekend, one class had us use the first letters of our names to describe ourselves. This was the one time in my life I thought of going with Sue instead of Susanne, but I didn’t. This is what I came up with…

Smart
Unique
Spontaneous
Affable
Neurotic
Natural
Expressive

She then asked us if we had any negative one’s on the list to cross them out and try again. I didn’t, because I embrace my neurotic side just as much as the other parts.

Overall FAB time! Thanks to hubby for buying it for my birthday.

Writers Weekend

I'm going to the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers 25th Anniversary Writers Conference this weekend. Darling Hubby got it for my birthday. He is coming with me and staying downtown. So I'll get to have dinners with him and some NO KID time!! YEAH!!!

I'm really excited. It looks like a great conference. There are great speakers, editors, and publishers to learn from. Great classes to take the entire weekend and my favorite part of writers conferences~ Writers to meet and talk to.

I told Hubby the other night, after all this political stuff lately, I've decided to become one of those hermit writers. You know the kind of crazy, never showers, drinks alot kind. The ones that never get out of the house, until they write THE END, and then only long enough to see what season it is outside before the next brilliant idea evolves in their brains and they MUST go back to work. He said he thinks that would be best...

Actually, I do feel more drawn to my computer lately. The new story has been evolving in my imagination a lot, and where before I would sit down to work and not really know where I was going, now I sit down and have so much to get to, I'm never really finished.

So after this weekend if you want to find me, I'll be in the loft. Bring a bar of soap and a bottle of wine when you come...

Fear in America

I promised my darling hubby last night I was going to focus on fiction now and leave the politics to other people... sorry babe! Just one more.

My brother a staunch Republican just called me naïve. In fact he told me I might want to look the word up.

Naïve : unaffectedly simple, credulous.

That was mean.

I’m not naïve. Just because I don’t believe what you do doesn’t make me naïve. I believe the culture of fear we are creating in the US is wrong. We are told to be afraid of terrorists, the weather, disease, the end of the world and now our presidential candidate.

They say this election is going to be decided by white, Independent women. By Independent I mean the one’s who truly haven’t made up their minds yet. My Republican best friend told me yesterday you are only Independent until you pick a party then you are that. She’s right. I’m now a democrat.

So let’s talk about the people who haven’t made up their minds yet. Do you honestly think you are going to sway them to your side by trying to frighten them into thinking Obama is some kind of Muslim terrorist? I am not saying ALL REPUBLICANS DO THIS. But a lot are.

Let’s hear about your issues. What is your president going to do for us? I have two very good friends in my neighborhood who are Republicans. They are great debaters. They talk about the issues and they talk about their belief in the party overall. They don’t use the scare tactic that his birth certificate might not be valid. Come on, people! These are not the debates we need to be having.

I will not be persuaded by fear. Call me optimistic, For Justie, Optimism means: Belief in the essential goodness of the universe. I know what I believe, and I don’t think that makes me Naïve.

Just for the record, a few more beliefs, or rather what I don’t believe.

I don’t believe in a government that preaches “less taxes” but then ends up billions of dollars in debt.

I don’t believe in anyone that says “less government” and then tells me how we must take care of our bodies (abortion), who we can love (gay rights), and what religion we must believe (creationism in schools).

I also don’t believe in FEAR as a motivating factor.

Hey, but that’s just me… and I’m not afraid to say it!

Pork and Ice Cream

When I woke up this morning I knew, it was going to be a long day. The cold had settled in like an unwelcome relative, selfish and insistent. I drug my sleepy body out of bed and headed for the coffee pot, but before I could get there the phone rang. I glanced at the clock, 6:45… this can’t be good.
“Hello?”
“Mrs. Brady?”
“Yes.”
“This is the Carter County Police Dept. we believe we have your dog.”
“My dog?”
“Yes.”
I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room.
“Seriously?”
“Yes. He was picked up last night outside the Tasty Freeze.”
“Okay…”
“We’ll need you to come down and post bail.”
“Bail…?”
I looked around to see if anyone else might be here to understand the parts of the conversation I was missing, but I seemed to be surprisingly alone.
“$250.”
“What?”
“$250… it’s mainly for the damages.”
“Damages?”
I knew I was sounding ridiculous, answering everything as if I didn’t hear him, but it was more just the simple act of understanding.
“He ate the cone.”
“Pardon me?”
“The cone… the big one with the chocolate swirl… the one that sits outside of the shop.”
“He ate it.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“So, I need to pay $250 to get the dog back.”
“That, and the medical bills.”
“Medical Bills.”
“The cone was pretty big.”
At this point I was wondering if I was actually awake or if this was some crazy dream. I pinched myself. Hard.
“Ouch.”
“Ma’am?”
“Nothing. So how much were the medical bills?”
“$2500.”
“But the dog’s okay?”
“Not exactly.” I decided to wait him out on this one. “Actually Ma’am, we lost the dog.”
“He died?”
“No, we lost him. When he came out of the anesthesia, he jumped off the table at the Emergency Vet’s office and ran out the door.”
“So, I have to pay $2750 for the dog and the damages and you lost the dog?”
“That’s it!”
I rubbed my eyes and thought of the coffee that wasn’t even percolating yet.
“Can I ask you one question?”
“Of course.”
“How do you know it’s my dog?”
“We called the number on his tag, and you answered the phone.”
“Well that solves everything.” I said.
“It does?”
“Yes, it can’t be my dog, because I don’t own a phone.”
The police officer on the other end of the line sat quietly for a second.
“I called… an.. and you answered,” he finally stammered.
“Yes.”
“So, who owns the phone.”
“Obviously, the dog.” I said and hung up the phone. I crossed the room, bent down to pet Pork, my two year old, Great Dane that loves to eat ice cream and then slowly made my way to the coffee pot to make my morning Joe.

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." ~Ray Bradbury

Drink up...

Obama For President

I just spent the last three hours watching CNN. They had two back-to-back specials on, the first John McCain Revealed, and the second, Barack Obama Revealed. They were biographical in nature, but tried to present both the good, and not so good of each man.

First let me say, I am a registered Independent. Even though that takes me out of my right to vote in the primary elections, it is important to me because I think it means I will do my best to look at the people and the issues and vote the most appropriate way.

Over the last few days I have had many political debates with many different people. I enjoy hearing peoples point of view and sometimes even learn something from them. The part that worries me the most is the emotion that takes over in these debates and somehow pushes logic aside. I have copied a lot of what I’ve said in the last of these email debates for this blog.

Let me start with McCain. He is truly a great American. He has spent his lifetime serving his country. I cannot fault him for who he is even though there were issues in his background that can be questioned. I refuse to make that judgment.

I do question his choice of VP. I felt this choice was made to get the Hillary vote. I’m sorry but I think women are smarter than that. Palin has little in common with Hillary. My vote is based primarily on the issues and what these two men believe. I am voting for Obama.

On what Obama has done: granted he is the youngest person ever to run for the presidency. There is no way he can have done as much as McCain. But honestly, I feel what he has accomplished in a short time is admirable. You can fault him for choosing to be a community organizer, but I won't. He graduated from Harvard Law School and could have taken a number of high paying law positions. He didn't, he chose to serve the people. Maybe not as high risk as John McCain, but to the people of the South Side of Chicago, just as important. Not only did he help those people, he empowered them to do for themselves. That's what this country needs.

His voting record and the bills he has sponsored or cosponsored are important ones. There are a list on his website, BarackObama.com, as well as the website FactCheck.org. It really only takes an open mind to understand in a few short years he has done a tremendous amount. To begin with in the State Senate he headed an Ethics reform that he again co-sponsored in the US Senate. Clearly Ethics are important to him.

Pro Choice is important to me. McCain and Palin are against it. Palin in 2006, when pushed about her views on abortion was asked what she would think if her own daughter were raped and she said, she would choose life.

My sister’s healthcare is important to me. As a widowed mother of two, she has some of the worst insurance imaginable and she pays a fortune for it. I know our country needs healthcare reform. 47 Million Americans don't have ANY insurance. I like Obamas plan. I realize this will take some pressure on the insurance companies, but so would McCain's and I simply don't think his does enough.

I do not want Creationism taught in my kids schools. Palin said in 2006 she wanted to teach both Evolution and Creationism in schools. When asked if she believed in Evolution she refused to answer the question. I'm sorry but there is a separation of Church and State for a reason.

I believe in Stem Cell Research, McCain and Palin don't.

Education is important to me. The first bill Obama introduced in the Senate was to help make college more affordable by increasing the maximum Pell Grant from $4,050 to $5,100. As president his goal is to eliminate wasteful subsidies to private student lenders, which would save nearly $6 billion dollars per year, and invest the savings in additional student aid. As a person that had to take advantage of the Pell Grant to get my education and as a mother that has two kids to put through college, this issue means something to me.

There are so many more I could go through, but the trouble with debating this with anyone is it’s pretty hard to change anyone’s mind. All I ask is that you really look at the issues at stake, instead of basing your decision on who you might think he is. (for the record he is not a Muslim and never has been one!) I am afraid what many have presented has been more about his acquaintances, and for that matter, doesn't mean a thing to me.

I have met so many people in my life that I am "friendly" with who I don’t really like. I also have actual friends, really good friends, who I don’t agree with on every issue. In fact my best friend is a stanch republican, we believe very differently about many of these issues.

If I ever ran for president, I hope they wouldn't look at my friends or my family to judge who I am as an individual. Just because one person believes something, or does something, does not automatically reflect on those around him. Stop worrying about the people around him, and start worrying about your candidate’s beliefs. There are far too many differences in my view to ever get my vote.

Beware, my pretty Bears

I waited a few days before writing this, thinking, maybe I'd settle down and not be so mad, but um... no. So here....


Last Monday, I was sitting on my front porch waiting for the school bus to come deliver my children, when I heard a strange, POP, POP, POP from a little ways off.

That sounds like gun fire I thought. Then just as quickly poo pooed myself. No way! Something else, I'm sure. The bus came around the corner dropping my kiddos off safely, and I went on with my day.

Then Tues. night I get a call from a neighbor. Apparently, IT WAS GUN FIRE! Right around the corner from me. Some guy driving a golf cart was shooting at a bear!

No! I thought. She must be mistaken, who would be so stupid to shoot at one of our beautiful bears, not to mention the fact that it was in a neighborhood at the same time the school bus was bringing home our children. I called around and sent a few emails.

Sure enough the Wildlife guys were canvasing the neighborhood looking for an injured or dead bear. They brought out the dogs trying to track him. No one really knows if the Jackass hit the bear or not.

I'm so upset over this. We live in bear territory. We chose it! Knew full well, we were sharing their space. Everyone around needs to know that too! We have had several instances this summer of bears getting into peoples houses. It's not really a mystery. If you leave a window open and have ANY food in the house, he's coming in.

One of the bears, a baby, was euthanized because of this. The Rangers give them the three strike rule and then say they can not be moved or rehabilitated after learning the way to get food is breaking and entering. So, we lose one of our natural neighbors. A fed bear is a dead bear. Nice little saying, huh?

Now we have some armed crazy person, shooting at a bear off a moving golf cart?? We are not so rural that you won't hit anything around if you MISS~! I feel very lucky he didn't kill anyone. I am pretty sure someone this stupid, couldn't have hit the bear. Most actual hunters know better. My husband is an avid hunter, he was just as shocked and appalled at this insane behavior as I was.

I have seen the bears in my yard four times this year. I am happily surprised every time! It's such a joy to watch something so big and free come waltzing by. They are wonderful! And if you've experienced them at all, you know, one loud noise and they GO AWAY! The first time I saw one coming through the backyard, I yelled at my husband to come. The windows were open and she heard me and immediately hightailed it out of the yard. These bears are harmless. They're just looking for something to eat. If you protest, even a little, they get the message.

I really just hope this guy gets his. Maybe the next time he comes to the table looking for his supper, his wife can shoot at him! I'd be happy to stand in, if she needs me.

Affordable Viagra $1

Got my viagra email. Now my day can begin.

Worst Writing Day Ever!

Yesterday, I spent a lovely and quiet day writing my new novel. What a great day it was! Today, I have been caught up in my blog reading by a contest posted on this website.

It is a contest to write the WORST story line ever! It's so much fun, I am obsessing, ignoring my chores and my child. Here are a few of mine:

Procuring the Position of PTO President
Kindergartner, Pickles Parsley’s mom wants the position of PTO President and will do anything to get it, including pandering to the parents, picking off the competition with nasty paper cuts, planting parasites in certain parents potluck and even planning pedicures while pontificating about her perfect purple play dough.

I love alliteration and find it an essential tool in querying.

Malevolent Mailman: A middle-aged mailman delivers a letter to the wrong address angering an entire town who in turn vow to never mail again.

Tree Hugging: A nature loving arborist sets off on a quest to find and destroy the dreaded Pine Beetle only to discover an unrequited love for a tree chopping lumberjack named Ax.

All Around Afghan Hound: An overweight, washed up gymnast, who once tried out for the Olympics, turns her useless life around by taking up dog walking and in time teaches a trusted pooch a floor routine to beat all breeds, and winds up loosing ten pounds in the process.

Party Pooper: A middle-aged housewife, sick of leftovers and processed cheese, combats door to door sales men and telephone solicitors while trying to diaper her skittish toddler who refuses to poop in the potty.

AHHHHAHAHAHAH!! This is so much fun...who needs clean clothes, or dinner? I'm just gonna sit here all day doing this!

Kickin' Butt

My friends and I went to a self defense class. It was seriously nerve racking. These guys in giant padded heads and diapers attacked us. First, from the front, then from behind, and finally with our eyes closed, so we never knew where they were coming from.

I'm a lover not a fighter.

It gave me serious anxiety to fight this way. These guys were great, they cussed at me and yelled at me and tried to wipe the "hee hee, this isn't real" smile off my face. It worked.

By the end, I was fighting for all I was worth. I was mad and defensive. It was great to have the chance to be in this situation, to learn to fight for your life when it wasn't real. If I ever find myself facing anything like this again, at least I'll have a point of reference. Here's a little clip of me fighting off the bad guys. They are spinning me around, with my eyes shut to make me completely disoriented before he attacks. I think I held my own...

National Friendship Week

Reading the paper today, I found out Aug. 17th – Aug. 23rd. is National Friendship Week. It made me want to reflect on my friendships past and present. Friends are such a big part of life. I read in the article, “Aristotle viewed friendship among the highest virtues. He identified three kinds of friendship:

· Friendship of Pleasure - two people are wonderfully happy in each other’s company.
· Friendship of Utility – two people assist one another in everyday aspects of life.
· Friendship of virtue - two people mutually admire one another and will be on best behavior in order not to jeopardize their relationship.”

I have experienced all three kinds of friendships in my life. From my earliest friend, Heidi Brewer in 1st- 3rd grade, I knew what it was like to really be happy in someone else’s company. I remember, one time, she was supposed to spend the night at my house. For some reason, at the last moment, she couldn’t come. I had such heartache over her absence. She ended up moving in 3rd grade, another complete heartache. I tried to keep track of her for a little while. We saw each other once in her new town and then she just disappeared. I have often thought of her and wondered how she is, and what she’s doing.

From then on there were lots of friends. I have a friend I’ve had since Kindergarten. I have my best friend from High School who I also lived with awhile in College. Both of these are not really friendships anymore as much as nostalgic acquaintances. With both of these friends I value the time we were close and the memories we made. I miss those days but understand how much things and people change over time.

In my 20’s and early 30’s there were lots of friends. Many work friends which fall under the Friendship of Utility category, they usually disappear with the job.

I’ve had a few “Best Friends”. Each one enhancing different parts of my personality and changing with who we were at the time. Sadly, I think they may have been more of the Friendship of Virtue kind. In my experience, this type of friendship just doesn’t last.

You can only be on your best behavior so long. Sooner or later, real life comes into play and you do jeopardize the relationship by just being yourself. That’s when so many fall through the cracks.

It’s when you can be yourself and you know your friend is being herself that the Friendship of Pleasure really comes into play. That to me is the truest form of friendship. It’s the kind of friends we all were in the beginning. It’s the kind of friends Heidi Brewer and I were in Elementary School. Kids choose their friends just based on who they truly enjoy being around.

I have one friend, I know without a doubt, is a true all time friend. I have great faith through years of change, and even working with her, we will always have a connection. And I have my sister, but that is an entirely different blog.

Besides that, I have many friends I can count on. I don’t put anyone in the position of being something specific for me. I am in a place in life where I am happy with who I am and that seems to attract all kinds of great people. I have no desire to be on my best behavior anymore, you can like me or not, that’s okay.

With all the friendships I have made recently, and in the past, I am so happy to have such great people in my life. Even if only meant for a short time. Having all of these great personalities has made me who I am, and I appreciate you all.

Back to School and Publishing Steppingstones

Having a good week. It’s back to school time. My second grader goes today, and my kindergartener starts tomorrow. I am excited for them although also really surprised at the way time flies. I remember so vividly bringing my daughter home. She was premature and in the NICU for 17 days, 17 of the longest days of my life. How can it be time for her to step up on the school bus and drive away? I’m just trying not to think about it much.

Also had a great week for publishing… Got an email from an agent who wanted more information on the Screenplay. That’s the first nibble. She wanted coverage, which I don’t have right now. Coverage is like a review you pay for and get from an established reader. I got one, a few rewrites back. It was pretty decent considering I still had some work to do. I am considering getting another one, but it takes about three weeks so I don’t think it’ll help me with this agent.

On the book side, my new friend and publisher Spring Lea is reading my novel. She emailed me after only eleven chapters to tell me she was really enjoying the story. She said I am having a little trouble with commas! HA!! Go figure, but she is willing to work with me on all that. I am excited to get her feedback. Hopefully it will lead to a published book, but even without that giant step, any improvement on my writing is so helpful.

I should have more time to write here in the near future. With both kids attending school at least two days a week. I’m excited about the time; I just need to learn to work in the silence. My faithful Berner, is by my side as I write this in my loft. I have great pictures in my mind about cold, winter days, writing for hours the next great novel. I can’t imagine a better way to spend my time. Thank you to darling Hubby who makes it possible.

Boyfriend Vs. Raccoons

I'm really tired. Just got back (3 hours ago) from a four-day, three-night, tent camping trip. We took the boat to Blue Mesa. We go every year. This is the fourth year; with a fifth year we don’t count before we were married.

This was the first year we were attacked in the night.

Let me start by sharing a story about a friend of mine who just went to Yosemite. Very aware that Yosemite is Grizzly Bear country, she found herself at an outhouse by herself. Thinking fast, as any good outdoorswoman would, she kicked the outhouse door before walking in. A thrashing animal sound, answered her kick.

Her call of nature (okay, she HAD TO PEE) was so great, she decided to confront whatever was thrashing about. She threw the door open in front of her, standing safely behind. (Not like a Grizzly Bear could just throw the door aside and EAT HER!!)

Luckily, no bears bounded out, only goats. Yes, goats were taking up residence in the outhouse. My friend did her business and then locked the intruders out. As she walked away, (gloating at her quick thinking) the goats were butting and ramming the door trying to get back into the home they were so rudely evicted from.

With this story in mind, plus the fact we live in Mountain Lion and Bear territory, I was more than a little panicked when awakened to an intruder in our campsite. Sunday night, our first night, I awoke to the sounds of plastic rattling and feet tramping about.

I thought my sister or her boyfriend were up. I was wondering what the hell they were doing waking me in the middle of the night. After reflecting on the fact I never heard the zipper on their tent, I decided to investigate. I unzipped our tent and looked out. It was pitch black, I saw nothing, but continued to hear the sounds of trampling and rummaging.

“Is anybody up?” I asked timidly into the night.

“Nope, we’re not up.” My sister answered from her tent.

“WADE SOMETHING’S OUT THERE, GET UP!!” I shouted at my sleepy husband.

“What? What?” he answered groggily.

“It’s a raccoon,” my sister’s boyfriend responded. He was quicker to the flashlight than my love, and he flashed his light on the BIGGEST RACCOON I HAVE EVER SEEN!!

The little devil was sitting on our camp table devouring pistachios as fast as he could. Apparently, New Boyfriend left the nuts out. As a punishment we made him chase the little devils off for the next two nights…

Let me just say, raccoons are very similar to Gremlins. We could hear them snarling and growling from our tent as Boyfriend, tried to chase them off. They're dirty little suckers who got everything muddy, from the table, to the towels, to my hat sitting on the table, to the boat, which they apparently jumped into as Boyfriend tried to evict them.

The second night, after chasing off a herd of raccoons, I heard Boyfriend retreat back to his tent.

"One of them bit me," he said.

"Nuh, uh..." sister responded.

"Drew blood," he muttered.

Boyfriend had to leave one night early, jumped on his Harley with blood dripping from the Coon attack. Hubby prepared himself for the Raccoon battle our final night. Funny thing was, without Boyfriend around, no Coons showed up. I seriously think they were there only to mess with him…

Hubby says next time he’s packing a 22.

Boyfriend Beware!!

Breaking out Sofie

I am reading the book WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL by Donald Maass. It's fabulous. Donald Maass owns his own literary agency. I am about half way through it, in the first day.

He has tons of good advice, which instills in me confidence in my finished novel, as well as ideas and thoughts for the next one.

I've had an idea rolling around in my head for some time now for the next novel. There are parts of it that scare the hell out of me so I've been procrastinating. First of all, it needs to have a Vietnam element. That's the only way I see it happening. Not being from that generation, I feel inadequate to write about it. The part I need is from the prisons. I have read and done a bunch of research but still, writing about it like I own it is different.

Anyway, after reading the first half of this book I heard my little voice. I think I need to name her...Sofie comes to mind immediately. (I realize that sounds pretty nutty, the rebellious teen I used to be says, uh...whaat-eveah!)

Thanks Sofie.... remember it's a first draft...

Her scream was the deafening sound of pity, grief and atonement, which shook the foundation of the house and sent all the birds and creatures outside into a fervent escape. She knew instantly she would never stop. It didn’t matter that the curly headed toddler next to her was crying. It didn’t matter that the blood was seeping into the carpet, spilling from the open wound. Falling to her knees in front of her dead husband, all that mattered were the words she’d never say, “I’m pregnant.”

The look on his face was surprise, as if the bullet felt differently than he’d expected as it ripped through his skull. Her ears were still ringing from the blast and now the screaming... the screaming, as if coming from someone very far away. She reached out instinctively, erratically stroking the man she had loved half of her life. He felt warm, real, familiar. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand, knowing in some far off place, she must stop, but she couldn't. Not until the neighbor came. Shocked and horrified, scooping her off her knees, dragging her from the room.

Twenty minutes later as the paramedics loaded her onto the ambulance, she finally asked in a confused, drug-induced state, “Where’s Maggie?”

“Your…um…Mother,” replied the paramedic, Joe. This was his first call. Not of the day…ever. He had past the test last week. Today was Monday, his first real day of work. Nothing could have prepared him for this first call, his introduction to tragedy and horror. He had been nervous all morning, afraid he might not be ready, but it wasn’t until he wiped the dead man’s brains from his wife’s face he realized, he’d never be the same.

Too quiet to think...

I’m writing a new script. It’s a romantic comedy. I love the concept; it actually came to me in a dream. There are also some really funny parts. Or at least I think so… but right now I am struggling to get past the mid point.

Page 50. Midpoint. Something great should be happening by now. Is it??

Usually, I am writing with my kids around. They constantly interrupt me. Asking for snacks, fighting with each other. Just coming up to say hi! I always wonder how much easier it will be to write when they are at school full time. Something I will experience soon enough.

Well today, they are at their grandparents. It’s 2:00 and I have had the entire day to myself. It’s really been nice. I’ve had no TV on. No radio, just sitting quietly me and my computer and this new story unfolding. But you know what???

It’s too quiet.

I can’t figure out where I want to go next. The little voices in my head are staying quiet. Thanks for nothing. The TV is calling me… come sit down, watch me…do nothing…you’ll love it.

I procrastinated through every blog I could find to read. Read the news clip about Randy Pausch. He’s the guy that wrote the inspirational speech about dying. Well, he died. And spent a while trying to find friends on myspace. I have only five and one of them is the Tom guy…

So why is it so hard to write today?I guess I’m just used to thinking amidst the chaos. I miss the kids. What a pity. I guess I can’t let them go to school after all. Poor little things. They need to stay home and help their mommy become a great writer.

I hope the State will understand why I couldn’t possibly let them go to school. I need my noisy little muses.

WASPS!!!

got stung by a wasp this morning. little boogers. apparently the wind knocked down their home and now they are swarming by my milk box. lovely little things stung my foot when i went to get the milk. i haven't been stung in 30 years...still hurts! going to the dentist today too...hope this is not some sort of a sign of things to come.

An Exercise in Sound Effects...and Life.

So…I’m going to do my best to make this sound funny and entertaining, even though it’s been a very VERY bad day.

This weekend, my darling dog (yes, the same dog) my little 11 mo. old Berner, developed a nasty cough. Hmmm… Really almost the sound of a hairball being expelled out of our evil, hateful, cat, Fish (no, not a catfish…our cat named Fish). HACK-HACK- GASP-KACHEESE! Nothing comes out.

Heavy panting followed, HUFF HUFF HUFF GAK KACHEESE. Seriously… either he’s hot…or he’s HOT!! It's 85 degrees in my house and he wears a seriously heavy coat. So for the past two days, I’ve told myself- he’s hot!

Well this morning, my dear pet, decided no mo’ food. Yep… the human garbage disposal broke. The dog that will eat anything…I mean anything…will not eat.

I know, it’s even obvious to you, who only know this dog from a random blog spot, he needs to go to the vet. But, I couldn’t tell my husband that. We just spent a BAZILLION Dollars on his shoulder surgery. I procrastinated. Maybe he’ll feel better soon. He’s not throwing up. Look… he just WOOFED at the neighbor…GAK KACHEESE...I’m sure he’s fine.

KLUNK! (That’s the sound of my brain as I throw my head back in disgust) I KNOW HE NEEDS TO GO TO THE VET!!

So, I take him. All starts out fairly well. Vet tech tells me she thinks he has Kennel Cough. Fabulous. I have no idea how he could have contracted that, but OKAY! It’s better than the alternative. Actual Vet is in surgery, leave puppy behind, we’ll let you know. Wonderful! I go home and research Kennel Cough-

Then the Vet calls. “His throat’s pretty swollen.”
“Really?”
"Yeah, I want to take an X-ray but he’s pretty freaked out. I’ll have to give him a sedative.”
“Yep…listen…we’ve already spent a lot on this dog. I really want to know what’s wrong with him, but less is more. You see what I’m saying?”
“I know.” Sympathetic, but is she really hearing me???
“I thought it might just be Kennel Cough?” I say desperately.
"Well, it still could be, but with his history, you said he eats everything in the yard?”
SHIT. “Yep, rocks, sticks, Barbie dolls. Pretty much everything.”
“I really think we should take a look.”
“Okay. Let me know.”

For two hours I paced. The phone rings… here’s where it all goes bad…
“Well, I put him under, and as soon as I looked, I could see. He had a HUGE abscess. So much pus. I wiped it away, but we were in jeopardy of him choking to death so we had to intubate.”
OH CRAP! The cash register in my mind was keeping track, CHA-CHING CHA-CHING! Darling Hubby is either going to divorce me or KILL ME! If you find my dead body with a dog collar in my hand, there’s no question who the accused should be. (hear the ditty from Psycho...can't figure out how to write that...)

Long story, short…yah right…dog swallowed something sharp. Cut his throat and now it’s infected. Good news is he’s fine. I got him home. He’s on painkillers and MAJOR antibiotics but he’s going to be just fine. And I still love this dog. Hubby on the other hand, SNARLED and GROWLED when he walked in. I am on my third glass of wine, he is on the back porch GRUMBLING to himself, but trying desperately to be happy with his wife and her pets.

This is life, the life that we created. I know we don’t have tons of money. We have two small kids and one income. People and pets…get sick. All we can do is our best to take care of them. I know, he knows it, and I know he’s happy to have his family (although he would be one dog shy, if it were up to him). Life may be a bowl of pits as Rodney Dangerfield said, but I tend to think more like Carl Jung; There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. I know the meaning of the word…happy. (Cue the VIOLINS)

Laugh, Chuckle, Chortle

From Webster’s New World Dictionary: Laugh- to make the sounds and facial movements that express mirth, ridicule, etc.

Webster’s New World Thesaurus: Laugh- chuckle, chortle, guffaw, laugh off, snicker, titter, giggle, burst out laughing, shriek, roar, beam, grin, smile, smirk, shout, die laughing, break up, crack up, howl, roll in the aisles, be in stitches, see also smile.

That’s all I have done for four days.

Thursday was book club night. Picture 12 women sitting around a table in the backyard chuckling and chortling until they pee. That was pretty much the book club. And just so you know, the book really wasn’t funny at all…

We were drinking Mojitos, which I am pretty sure helps the giggle abilities but it was also just a bunch of happy, funny people.

We laughed so hard and so loud that some complete stranger popped into the backyard. Some guy heard our laughter, knew it was a bunch of women and HAD to come over. All that did was make us laugh harder. I mean please! If a woman heard a bunch of men outside, I don’t know, ummm… drilling and hammering. Do you think she would HAVE to drop by? This man looked a bit like a bad Santa and when he told us about the last time he went to the gym… well you can imagine, my Mojito shot out of my nose as I howled and rolled in the aisle!

So then Friday, my neighbor invited us over to try some yummy wines and meet her brother who was in town. All I can say is the entire night was full of shrieks, roars, and howling laughter. (In case you haven’t figured it out, I am trying to use every one of the thesaurus words).

There was some story about a snake… I can’t even tell you why it was so funny, it just won’t translate, but I looked across the table and my darling husband was crying he was laughing so hard and this is not a man who laughs enough! My stomach hurt, I guess that’s what it means to be in stitches. We were only planning on staying an hour tops! Five and a half hours later we drug our hysterical butts out of their house.

I like the term die laughing. There can’t be any better way to go. If it were at all possible to die from laughter, I surely would have departed this weekend. I recommend laughing as hard as possible as often as possible. It makes you feel so full of life. Thank you to all my friends who made me laugh this weekend! Loved it!

PS. Just saw a beautiful brown bear walk through my front yard. The dogs were inside so he wasn’t scared away as usual and I got to watch him for a few seconds. I love that I have bears in my front yard! What a great day it’s going to be!!! Heres a picture of the bears, I didn't take it and it wasn't today. This was about a month ago right up around the corner from me. I think it was this brown one that I just saw.

Grumpy Dragon Wins!

I think I wrote a while back that a publisher was reviewing my book. It is a small, relatively new press and while a friend recommended her to me, I really wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing. Well this week everything fell into place.

I have been very positive lately about my writing. I made an image board. I took pictures or images of things that I love or want in my life and glued them to a big old white board. I have God in my center. Under that I have a beautiful picture of red roses. I not only want more flowers in my life but this signifies love for me, my family’s love is very important to me.

Next to that is a big wad of cash! Truth be told money is not that important to me, but I am married to a guy who can not rest at night unless we have an abundance of savings. We are a cash only family, when there ain’t no cash, there ain’t no stuff. His happiness is what that money represents to me.

Above that is a picture of New York. I really, really, really, want to go. Up above all of it is a picture of a bunch of butterflies flying through the rays of the sun into a blue sky. Butterflies are a symbol to me of my sister, and my family. They look really free and beautiful and the picture reminds me a little of Heaven.

There is an old calligraphy pen and the words “Just Write!” Below that are dark shadows on a rippling river. The movement of a rock recently thrown through displaces the reflections of the trees around. Throughout the entire picture are images of butterflies in bright colors, pink, green and purple. This picture depicts my imagination; the thought that anything can be, if I create it.

Under that I have created a book jacket for The Spirit of Denial. I LOVE IT! It’s the title with my name under it and a black and white picture of twin babies. This is my book published, in my mind. And right next to that is a picture of a hand reaching out with a small bright blue Christmas present on it. This picture symbolizes Giving Away Christmas my movie.

So this publisher that has my book is called The Grumpy Dragon. After she took my book to review it, I stupidly asked a question of a blogger who is an assistant to a literary agent. I asked if she thought going with a small, unknown publisher was a good idea. This person took my question and went on a little public rant about The Grumpy Dragon that was less than flattering.

For the past two weeks I have felt terrible. I imagined the publisher reading the blog and being angry with me for causing it to happen. Finally after making my board and really thinking about putting good energy out into the world, I realized I had to apologize to her even if she didn’t know it had happened.

Well I did, and she didn’t. She had no idea about the blog. I pointed her to the link and waited to hear her reaction. It’s here if you want to read it but please make sure you read the comments too so you can see what The Grumpy Dragon responded. http://rejecter.blogspot.com/ SHE WAS AMAZING! She defended herself eloquently to the blogger. She absolved me of my guilt, recognizing that it wasn’t intentional and she still agreed to review my book!

I don’t know what will happen from here. I do think if nothing else I have made a valuable friend. I know her review will be tremendously helpful to my writing. I actually think we may be a perfect fit. She is new and small, but so am I! I have no idea what I’m doing; I am leading with my heart and my desire to have my book published. She has a desire to grow her company and publish books. I know this shook her confidence, my confidence waivers all the time. Who knows, maybe we will help each other and end up getting everything we want. I actually feel like this entire thing was a step in the right direction.

The World is Conspiring in My Favor! I know it!! (Its a little hard to see, but this is my writing loft. I painted those words across the windows.)