Cold Calling Crazy Bitch

Have you ever cold called an actual movie star’s agent? I have.

I was thinking the other day, about my SP. I have the entire movie playing out in my claustrophobic closet of a head, over and over and over. I could make the BEST MOVIE, if I was in charge of everything. I can pick the actors, the directors, the costume designers (okay, my aunt is a costume designer), my manager (Uncle Dan are you listening?), everybody. But… alas, I’m not in charge of everything.

So, next best thing… start moving the Universe in my direction. Hey! Why NOT!? I cold called this certain 12-year-old actresses agent. Conversation went something like this…

“Hi, I’m Susanne Sanstra and I’m new to Screenwriting. I just finished my first movie and your client would be PERFECT for the lead role.”

“Samantha, did you say?”

“Susanne.”

“Lady, this isn’t the way things are done.”

Laughing, “I’m sure of that. Look, I just wanted to tell you, that it’s posted on Inktip.com”

“Do you have financing for this movie?”

“No.”

“Well that’s what you need first.”

“I just thought you could look at the logline, if you’re interested, the script is posted there too.”

“Its against the law for us to accept unsolicited manuscripts.”

"I KNOW!” laughing again… “that’s why I posted it to Inktip. Have you ever heard of Inktip?”

“No, me personally, no.”

“Well, it’s a place for new writers, like myself, to post our work. Then you can look at it without any liability.”

"You signed a waiver?”

"YES!”

“Okay, well like I said, we really don’t get involved until you at least have financing.”

“Right, so you can’t look at the logline at least?”

“No. Sorry.”

Too cheerfully, “Okay, well thanks so much for your time.”

Hang up the phone… “WELL SHIT!”

That didn’t work out so well. So the next time, I decided to send a very well worded email to the next agent, asking them to check out Inktip. They responded in a couple of minutes…

“Thanks, we’ll take a look and let you know.”

That may have been the easiest way to blow me off by Blackberry, but hey, it’s better than just, NO!

I will not surrender!! Look the only one that's going to make something happen, is me. So the agents, producers and managers may laugh over the “crazy drunk mom” that cold called them, but I don’t care. All I need is one.

Face the facts, you're OCD

I have said before, I am a believer in the Universe talking to you... well not actually speaking, not really a voice, but smacking you in the face over and over again until you get the point. So the point right now seems to be OCD and patience.

My dog's shoulder problem was called an OCD. Which at the time I thought was funny. Even though the shoulders medical problem is not at all similar to the OCD we are accustomed to, it seems the dog is developing some typical traits of the mental, actual OCD. He will not leave the damn injury alone. He is obsessively licking and scratching his incisions. In a constant battle of wills, I now have the dog wearing not only a t-shirt to cover said area, but also a sock, taped on the foot he uses to scratch. Before long the little darling will be dressed from head to toe. I know this is surprising, but I do not have the patience for this... why can't he just leave the damn thing alone?

This obvious push from the Universe was not enough to get me to pay attention. I posted my screenplay on Inktip.com today. Fabulous site, I wrote a log line and synopsis and attached a PDF file with the actual SP. Within 30 minutes I had a couple of hits. You can actually view, who looks at your logline, synopsis and screenplay. Now, what do you know, I am obsessed! Every five minutes I have to look. I need to know, who's looking. I NEED TO KNOW!! I want to know who the companies are, so I have to google them. I want to know why they are not viewing the synopsis. I want to know why two of the companies came back twice.

In my head of happy places, I think within a couple more minutes, two or three of these companies are going to call. They are going to start a bidding war and within a day or two, Wade can quit his job and I will be an official writer of movies. I will buy a new Mercedes convertible and we will live the happy life writing away contentedly on my little lap top. I love my happy place.

I can't see why the Universe keeps giving me reasons to explore my OCD and the lack of patience that is abundant in my being, I think it's just mean spirited.

I would really like to tell you more, but I can't wait anymore, I need to go check the website...

Pity Party, Screenplay work, and Big Dogs

So, I'm over my pity party. If you read through this entire page of blogs many clear points come through. In the past month I have written about my belief in God, my belief in redemption and my own account of BIG mistakes I have made in my life.

Dan Stephen is no different.

I believe that our Universe will work it's magic and Dan will have to face his mistakes one way or another. I wish it would work faster. I really want this part of our lives to be over with. But I can wait. Maybe this is my lesson in patience and my lesson in giving up control. Having faith. Man, there are tons of lessons here if I quit whining long enough to see them. So for now I will let go and trust that things will work out.

As for my writing, I am done with the SP. The last critique was great! Very positive with lots of ideas on how to improve it. I spent some time rewriting again. Came up with a few new scenes to add, some more conflict and now I'm done. I need to move on to something new. I am posting it this afternoon on a website called inktip.com. It's a place for managers, producers, and agents to look for the type of movies they are looking for. It has a pretty good record for getting things sold. I will also give it to my uncle and let him give it to some friends. We will see...

Just one more update. My dog had surgery yesterday. He is an 8 month old Bernese Mountain Dog and he had shoulder trouble. Apparently it's fairly common in dogs this big. But the surgery was hard on him. He looks like he was hit by a truck!! He has six weeks of recovery which includes only leash walks, no free roaming in the yard. This is going to be really hard on him. He's totally an outside dog!

He had his entire leg, shoulder to toes, shaved. There are incisions on his shoulder that need to stay clean and dry. He is wearing one of those big dog, circus hats to keep him from licking, and he is completely disoriented with that thing on. He bangs into everything around while he is limping along. It's really a sad sight! I hope he heals quickly! There I go again. I seriously need to buy some patience. Maybe that's what this summer is suppose to be about. Slowing down, and just letting things happen. Sounds like a pretty good summer to me.

Contest time

I am posting my screenplay and a poem to the Writers Digest competition. The winner from each catagory wins a trip to New York and time with four editors or agents. I have always wanted to go to New York. With my darling hubby being as tight as he is with our budget, winning might be my only ticket. My son (little dreamer) is sure I will win. Gotta love em.

The Dingo Ate My Baby

Re-entry is difficult.
Have been home from Mexico 15 hours.
Clothes in suitcases.
House is a wreak.
Kids are bouncing off walls.
87 emails.
One contained critique of Christmas movie.
YIKES! He no likey!
Decided to only write short sentences.
No commas needed.
Less problems with punctuation.
Critique burried me alive.
May quit writing and take up salsa dancing.
Seriously, he hated it.
Damn, there's that abhorrent comma.
Where is the Caballero with the tequilla?

Saddest sight in Mexico? I know you probably think I'm going to say something that involves the intense poverty of the country but no...

65 year old drunk man at the airport, falling down in the food line. Grabs a hold of a teenage boy and explains to him that he's in a band! His lead guitarist and singer passed out on stage and he had to finish the show by himself. Clearly he finished the tequila as well. He was drooling his soft drink down his shirt as he belted out one of the bands songs. Does this man have any idea how ridiculous he is? This teenage boy was very gracious to him and let the guy tell him his story. Even checked back with him later to make sure he was getting on his flight.

Let me just say, the critique I received (and paid for) was far less gracious. Not a single word of encouragement. Pretty sure he could have just said, "this is shit" and saved himself all the effort.
I knew I wasn't paying for hand holding from my mother, but I also didnt expect him to dangle my baby over the balcony.

I think I'll let it set for a while, and then go back to see if I can come up with anything constructive to salvage.

Maybe I can start my own band.

Nailed it!

Worked on the SP all day. This time I think it's perfect. We'll see after payday when I can afford to buy some more criticism!! Ha! What a funny concept.

Rewrite Hell

I sent my screenplay in for coverage to an on-line screenwriters group called ScriptShark.com. Coverage is when a “reader” reads your script, gives it a logline and two page summary and then rates it. You get a comments section where they tell you what they really thought, and then a grid they fill out with the areas they think you need to work on. All of these fabulous prizes for the low, low price of $155.

So…here’s what I got. The first part is a pretty concise logline and summary. Then the comments section, which starts, “An often entertaining holiday story about Christmas, family, and the spirit of giving, this script has terrific potential in several different markets. Considering it’s scale and target audience, this concept would be ideal for a TV movie, particularly with Hallmark or ABC Family, but certainly has potential as a theatrical feature as well.” Nice huh??

He ends the comments section with… “Overall, the script has some trouble spots that require further development, but the concept is terrific, and certainly has potential. With deeper characterization, a more fully-realized second act, and higher stakes in Tiffany’s initial decision, this could be a first-rate family film.” WOW! Really?

Even though the middle of the comments is filled with little gems like, “The opening pages are flat, and fail to establish the setting or evoke the mood of the script’s locales.” And, “Much of the dialog rings false, particularly among the kids.” I still felt this was a pretty good assessment. Yeah for me.

But, then I got to the grid, portion. There are four categories they can rate you. Excellent, Solid, Needs Work, or Re-think. You would think with the above comments about the concept being “ideal” and saying flat out that the concept is “terrific” that I might rate an Excellent at least in those categories. Hmmmm…. Nope. I got 18 Needs Work, only 4 Solid’s (and one of those was on page count, please!) and 9 Re-think’s! Not a single Excellent among them. Bummer!!

Still though, someone read my script. Which is fabulous! They said some nice things and gave me some good ideas on improving it. All good. So what’s the problem now?

Yesterday, I tried to do a rewrite and encompass some of his ideas. Now I hate the damn thing! I feel like I have totally lost the overall feel and premise that I started with. At 3:00 yesterday after spending nearly the entire day on it. I gave up and walked away. Melanie, my four year old, and I went for a walk with the dog.

So, now what? This morning I woke up to an email from Jim Vine. A screenwriter in Hollywood, who has been extremely helpful, giving me some very simple advice. I think I need to re-outline the whole thing. Especially, Tiffany, my main character, with all of her challenges and who I really want her to be.

Then instead of going paragraph by paragraph trying to rewrite, I need to look at the whole thing. I have been trying to rework all the parts and the total concept kind of fell apart. Not good. I am back on track. I am going to lunch with my grandma today, and clearly I am procrastinating by writing this blog. But tonight when I get the kids to bed, I will try to read through the whole thing, and find my voice again.

You know what? It’s still really, REALLY FUN!!