Wednesday, April 2, 2008
this place of disarray
I’m in a strange place. It is crowded, dark and loud here. The cacophony confuses me and leaves me without understanding of any single sound. I see a light and try to follow it out, only to find myself lost in a different place. Someone reaches out to me, and tries to draw me out, but their grasp is weak and soon falls away. I wander, seemingly enjoying myself. How can that be when I am lost? But still, the echoes of a thousand sounds reverberate around me creating some comfort. The light that escapes a small crack in the interior blinks like a cursor waiting for the next word. I stumble and fall, bruising my ego and as I try and erect myself I realize… it’s safer here, nearer to the ground. As I grope my way along the tangled map that is this place, I finally recognize a sound; the first to make any sense. It is my name. Someone is calling me from this sanctuary? Insisting that I come out. They don’t see that this dim surrounding is my comfort. This is my home, this is my creativity, this place… is my own head.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Read blogs!
I love to read writers blogs. I think they are terribly entertaining and I learn some stuff too. Take today... I was reading a lovely blog by Ken Levine, which I truely enjoy reading. He was making a point about Hollywoods ability to take a well written peice of art and turning it into a droll, money making, disaster. The blog is here if you would like to read it. http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/
Anyway, I was reading the comments (which were also fabulous and funny) and one guy says: "So topical, so specific, so very amusing. On the other hand, though, as with the best satire (e.g. Jonathan Swift), your subtext is wonderfully vitriolic."
I was delighted by the word vitriolic. I wrote and said I had to know if the writer used a thesaurus to come up with vitriolic and said it was nicely done! Definitely a 10 cent word. Very soon after I got two responses that my vocabulary seriously needs work if I think vitriolic is a 10 center. Seriously!!
Okay, I admit, my vocabulary mainly consists of little gems like "poop" as in "please don't poop on the carpet." And "drawin'" as in "whose been drawin' on the walls?" It's been awhile since I carried on a conversation that would in anyway involve a word like vitriolic. Don't I wish! (But I am teaching my four year old the word as soon as I get done here!)
I live with my thesaurus and my dictionary, by my side. I love to find new words especially one's as juicy as vitriolic! By the way, for you morons, I mean mom's like myself, vitriolic means: "filled with or expressing extreme bitterness and hatred toward somebody or something".
Guess what, no matter what they say about me, I am not feeling in the least bit vitriolic towards any of the erudite writers who so blithely ridicule my inadequate vernacular.
Love me
Anyway, I was reading the comments (which were also fabulous and funny) and one guy says: "So topical, so specific, so very amusing. On the other hand, though, as with the best satire (e.g. Jonathan Swift), your subtext is wonderfully vitriolic."
I was delighted by the word vitriolic. I wrote and said I had to know if the writer used a thesaurus to come up with vitriolic and said it was nicely done! Definitely a 10 cent word. Very soon after I got two responses that my vocabulary seriously needs work if I think vitriolic is a 10 center. Seriously!!
Okay, I admit, my vocabulary mainly consists of little gems like "poop" as in "please don't poop on the carpet." And "drawin'" as in "whose been drawin' on the walls?" It's been awhile since I carried on a conversation that would in anyway involve a word like vitriolic. Don't I wish! (But I am teaching my four year old the word as soon as I get done here!)
I live with my thesaurus and my dictionary, by my side. I love to find new words especially one's as juicy as vitriolic! By the way, for you morons, I mean mom's like myself, vitriolic means: "filled with or expressing extreme bitterness and hatred toward somebody or something".
Guess what, no matter what they say about me, I am not feeling in the least bit vitriolic towards any of the erudite writers who so blithely ridicule my inadequate vernacular.
Love me
Sunday, March 16, 2008
damn dreams
I have been dreaming lately that I am losing my teeth. I know nobody wants to hear about anybody else’s dreams, but it’s my blog and I’ll do what I want. Read if you want…They are disturbing dreams where I can feel one loose tooth. When it falls out, I look and it is grossly decayed. When I look in the mirror I realize it wasn’t just one tooth, but all.
This morning when I got up, I couldn’t stand it anymore I had to know what the dreams meant. I have an old dream interpretation book that I immediately referenced. “If you lose your teeth, you will have burdens which will crush your pride and demolish your affairs.” “If they appear decayed and snaggled, your business or health will suffer from intense strains.” “Seeing all teeth drop out, death and famine usually will prevail. If the teeth are decayed and you pull them out, the same; only yourself is prominent in the case.”*
So there it is…I am dying.
Well, if I’m not dying its still really bad news. Can’t be good.
I am often curious about my dreams. I am a dreamer, I dream all the time. I dream when I am awake. I am often accused of not listening when someone is talking to me, that’s because I am dreaming. Right in front of you, while you are telling me something of great importance… By the way, I’m sorry about that.
I am also a believer of positive attraction. I am a pretty positive person. Although when I am not positive, I tend to be pretty dramatic about it. But wherein lies the subconscious when dealing with positive attraction? How am I supposed to attract positive, happy-pants ideas into my life when my subconscious is betraying me?
For Pete’s sake! It’s a bad dream!! I don’t like having it and I want it to go away!!
There, that’s said, now I am sure I can go on to dream about fluffy white sheep, grazing in fields of flowing golden wheat! RIGHT??
I guess we’ll see tonight.
*10,000 Dreams Interpreted by Gustavus Hindman Miller
This morning when I got up, I couldn’t stand it anymore I had to know what the dreams meant. I have an old dream interpretation book that I immediately referenced. “If you lose your teeth, you will have burdens which will crush your pride and demolish your affairs.” “If they appear decayed and snaggled, your business or health will suffer from intense strains.” “Seeing all teeth drop out, death and famine usually will prevail. If the teeth are decayed and you pull them out, the same; only yourself is prominent in the case.”*
So there it is…I am dying.
Well, if I’m not dying its still really bad news. Can’t be good.
I am often curious about my dreams. I am a dreamer, I dream all the time. I dream when I am awake. I am often accused of not listening when someone is talking to me, that’s because I am dreaming. Right in front of you, while you are telling me something of great importance… By the way, I’m sorry about that.
I am also a believer of positive attraction. I am a pretty positive person. Although when I am not positive, I tend to be pretty dramatic about it. But wherein lies the subconscious when dealing with positive attraction? How am I supposed to attract positive, happy-pants ideas into my life when my subconscious is betraying me?
For Pete’s sake! It’s a bad dream!! I don’t like having it and I want it to go away!!
There, that’s said, now I am sure I can go on to dream about fluffy white sheep, grazing in fields of flowing golden wheat! RIGHT??
I guess we’ll see tonight.
*10,000 Dreams Interpreted by Gustavus Hindman Miller
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Nailed it!
Worked on the SP all day. This time I think it's perfect. We'll see after payday when I can afford to buy some more criticism!! Ha! What a funny concept.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Rewrite Hell
I sent my screenplay in for coverage to an on-line screenwriters group called ScriptShark.com. Coverage is when a “reader” reads your script, gives it a logline and two page summary and then rates it. You get a comments section where they tell you what they really thought, and then a grid they fill out with the areas they think you need to work on. All of these fabulous prizes for the low, low price of $155.
So…here’s what I got. The first part is a pretty concise logline and summary. Then the comments section, which starts, “An often entertaining holiday story about Christmas, family, and the spirit of giving, this script has terrific potential in several different markets. Considering it’s scale and target audience, this concept would be ideal for a TV movie, particularly with Hallmark or ABC Family, but certainly has potential as a theatrical feature as well.” Nice huh??
He ends the comments section with… “Overall, the script has some trouble spots that require further development, but the concept is terrific, and certainly has potential. With deeper characterization, a more fully-realized second act, and higher stakes in Tiffany’s initial decision, this could be a first-rate family film.” WOW! Really?
Even though the middle of the comments is filled with little gems like, “The opening pages are flat, and fail to establish the setting or evoke the mood of the script’s locales.” And, “Much of the dialog rings false, particularly among the kids.” I still felt this was a pretty good assessment. Yeah for me.
But, then I got to the grid, portion. There are four categories they can rate you. Excellent, Solid, Needs Work, or Re-think. You would think with the above comments about the concept being “ideal” and saying flat out that the concept is “terrific” that I might rate an Excellent at least in those categories. Hmmmm…. Nope. I got 18 Needs Work, only 4 Solid’s (and one of those was on page count, please!) and 9 Re-think’s! Not a single Excellent among them. Bummer!!
Still though, someone read my script. Which is fabulous! They said some nice things and gave me some good ideas on improving it. All good. So what’s the problem now?
Yesterday, I tried to do a rewrite and encompass some of his ideas. Now I hate the damn thing! I feel like I have totally lost the overall feel and premise that I started with. At 3:00 yesterday after spending nearly the entire day on it. I gave up and walked away. Melanie, my four year old, and I went for a walk with the dog.
So, now what? This morning I woke up to an email from Jim Vine. A screenwriter in Hollywood, who has been extremely helpful, giving me some very simple advice. I think I need to re-outline the whole thing. Especially, Tiffany, my main character, with all of her challenges and who I really want her to be.
Then instead of going paragraph by paragraph trying to rewrite, I need to look at the whole thing. I have been trying to rework all the parts and the total concept kind of fell apart. Not good. I am back on track. I am going to lunch with my grandma today, and clearly I am procrastinating by writing this blog. But tonight when I get the kids to bed, I will try to read through the whole thing, and find my voice again.
You know what? It’s still really, REALLY FUN!!
So…here’s what I got. The first part is a pretty concise logline and summary. Then the comments section, which starts, “An often entertaining holiday story about Christmas, family, and the spirit of giving, this script has terrific potential in several different markets. Considering it’s scale and target audience, this concept would be ideal for a TV movie, particularly with Hallmark or ABC Family, but certainly has potential as a theatrical feature as well.” Nice huh??
He ends the comments section with… “Overall, the script has some trouble spots that require further development, but the concept is terrific, and certainly has potential. With deeper characterization, a more fully-realized second act, and higher stakes in Tiffany’s initial decision, this could be a first-rate family film.” WOW! Really?
Even though the middle of the comments is filled with little gems like, “The opening pages are flat, and fail to establish the setting or evoke the mood of the script’s locales.” And, “Much of the dialog rings false, particularly among the kids.” I still felt this was a pretty good assessment. Yeah for me.
But, then I got to the grid, portion. There are four categories they can rate you. Excellent, Solid, Needs Work, or Re-think. You would think with the above comments about the concept being “ideal” and saying flat out that the concept is “terrific” that I might rate an Excellent at least in those categories. Hmmmm…. Nope. I got 18 Needs Work, only 4 Solid’s (and one of those was on page count, please!) and 9 Re-think’s! Not a single Excellent among them. Bummer!!
Still though, someone read my script. Which is fabulous! They said some nice things and gave me some good ideas on improving it. All good. So what’s the problem now?
Yesterday, I tried to do a rewrite and encompass some of his ideas. Now I hate the damn thing! I feel like I have totally lost the overall feel and premise that I started with. At 3:00 yesterday after spending nearly the entire day on it. I gave up and walked away. Melanie, my four year old, and I went for a walk with the dog.
So, now what? This morning I woke up to an email from Jim Vine. A screenwriter in Hollywood, who has been extremely helpful, giving me some very simple advice. I think I need to re-outline the whole thing. Especially, Tiffany, my main character, with all of her challenges and who I really want her to be.
Then instead of going paragraph by paragraph trying to rewrite, I need to look at the whole thing. I have been trying to rework all the parts and the total concept kind of fell apart. Not good. I am back on track. I am going to lunch with my grandma today, and clearly I am procrastinating by writing this blog. But tonight when I get the kids to bed, I will try to read through the whole thing, and find my voice again.
You know what? It’s still really, REALLY FUN!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The Oscar Goes to...
My thoughts for the day…
It is sunny and snowy out, which happens to be my favorite kind of day. I am suppose to be at a PTO meeting but although there tends to be tons of interesting personalities and conflict I’m not up for the drama lately.
Had one of the best Oscar nights of recent times. I love to watch the Oscars but I am very particular about how it is done. I am not one for parties, in fact I really don’t want anyone around. I won’t answer the phone unless it is a commercial (Tivo is broken) and other than my daughter snuggling up beside me for a couple of minutes I was happily alone for the entire broadcast.
Some interesting points. Gary Busey started the night out with a bang as he molested Jennifer Garner on the red carpet in front of Ryan Seacrest. Ryan was shakin’ in his pants which was pretty funny. I know that guy is off his rocker, (I mean Gary, not Ryan) which is quite possibly helped by some sort of pharmaceuticals, but come on!! It was just a kiss, and it wasn’t even on the mouth. I think the whole thing was way more interesting because of the overreaction it got from the participants.
Okay Diablo Cody. First of all when I am watching the pre show I am stunned when I hear them say, “All of the stars are here tonight, we’ve got John Travolta, Kate Blanchet and Diablo Cody.” WOW! Really! She is the only screenwriter I have heard of in my life referred to as a star.
Let me start by saying I am totally on her side! I love her and her story. Juno was one of the best, funniest movies I have seen, but do you really think she would be getting all of this attention if she wasn’t a pole dancer previously? I really, REALLY want this all to be about her writing, which is fabulous!! But I have a little voice in my head that says, stripper, stripper, stripper… instead of writer, writer, writer.
The dress also needs to be commented upon. Like I said… stripper, stripper, stripper! I know her thing is all about being herself and there is no doubt that dress was picked out by none other than "the star", Diablo Cody. However, I think its time to decide how seriously we want to be taken. It’s great that she wants to be herself but I think from listening to her fairytale story, that she wants to be a writer. So maybe it’s okay to leave the past in the past. Step into those million dollar, diamond shoes and be somebody new. I’m pulling for you Diablo.
Other than that, I have to say I am somewhat disappointed. The movies this year were obscure to say the least. How does a best actress, not only get nominated, but actually win, when her movie has never even been shown in mainstream USA? Can someone please tell me who Javier Bardem is, and how to pronounce his name? I really can’t decide if he is the scariest person ever or the most handsome! Those dimples are huge! By the way, is this the same guy that played Katherine Hiegels bedridden boyfriend in Grey’s?
I thought Jon Stewart was great. I loved when he asked Diablo if she was enjoying the pay cut. I also loved when he was counting pregnant woman and commented that Jack Nicholson was in the room so he would recount later. My favorite part was when he brought Marketa Irglova back onstage to finish her acceptance speech. Maybe the band should wait one second when there is more than one person accepting, just to be sure they don’t have anything to add! That song from Once was the best song and I was happy to see them win.
Overall I would give it a passing grade. I am sorry that the Academy Awards had the lowest ratings ever and I am a little worried about that. Next year it might be on FOX or the TV GUIDE channel. I think if they just pick movies that people have heard of we might have a better shot.
It is sunny and snowy out, which happens to be my favorite kind of day. I am suppose to be at a PTO meeting but although there tends to be tons of interesting personalities and conflict I’m not up for the drama lately.
Had one of the best Oscar nights of recent times. I love to watch the Oscars but I am very particular about how it is done. I am not one for parties, in fact I really don’t want anyone around. I won’t answer the phone unless it is a commercial (Tivo is broken) and other than my daughter snuggling up beside me for a couple of minutes I was happily alone for the entire broadcast.
Some interesting points. Gary Busey started the night out with a bang as he molested Jennifer Garner on the red carpet in front of Ryan Seacrest. Ryan was shakin’ in his pants which was pretty funny. I know that guy is off his rocker, (I mean Gary, not Ryan) which is quite possibly helped by some sort of pharmaceuticals, but come on!! It was just a kiss, and it wasn’t even on the mouth. I think the whole thing was way more interesting because of the overreaction it got from the participants.
Okay Diablo Cody. First of all when I am watching the pre show I am stunned when I hear them say, “All of the stars are here tonight, we’ve got John Travolta, Kate Blanchet and Diablo Cody.” WOW! Really! She is the only screenwriter I have heard of in my life referred to as a star.
Let me start by saying I am totally on her side! I love her and her story. Juno was one of the best, funniest movies I have seen, but do you really think she would be getting all of this attention if she wasn’t a pole dancer previously? I really, REALLY want this all to be about her writing, which is fabulous!! But I have a little voice in my head that says, stripper, stripper, stripper… instead of writer, writer, writer.
The dress also needs to be commented upon. Like I said… stripper, stripper, stripper! I know her thing is all about being herself and there is no doubt that dress was picked out by none other than "the star", Diablo Cody. However, I think its time to decide how seriously we want to be taken. It’s great that she wants to be herself but I think from listening to her fairytale story, that she wants to be a writer. So maybe it’s okay to leave the past in the past. Step into those million dollar, diamond shoes and be somebody new. I’m pulling for you Diablo.
Other than that, I have to say I am somewhat disappointed. The movies this year were obscure to say the least. How does a best actress, not only get nominated, but actually win, when her movie has never even been shown in mainstream USA? Can someone please tell me who Javier Bardem is, and how to pronounce his name? I really can’t decide if he is the scariest person ever or the most handsome! Those dimples are huge! By the way, is this the same guy that played Katherine Hiegels bedridden boyfriend in Grey’s?
I thought Jon Stewart was great. I loved when he asked Diablo if she was enjoying the pay cut. I also loved when he was counting pregnant woman and commented that Jack Nicholson was in the room so he would recount later. My favorite part was when he brought Marketa Irglova back onstage to finish her acceptance speech. Maybe the band should wait one second when there is more than one person accepting, just to be sure they don’t have anything to add! That song from Once was the best song and I was happy to see them win.
Overall I would give it a passing grade. I am sorry that the Academy Awards had the lowest ratings ever and I am a little worried about that. Next year it might be on FOX or the TV GUIDE channel. I think if they just pick movies that people have heard of we might have a better shot.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Why I Write
I just found this fabulous website. It is http://whywewriteseries.wordpress.com/. They are stories from published and not so published writers, about why they write. I think this is a question that is rarely answered. Why do people do the things they do? I am ALWAYS curious about why someone is doing, whatever it is, they are doing.
WHY do you think, that guy is stopping in the middle of the street, to tie his shoe?
WHY, is she leaving her husband after 12 years?
WHY, is this guy waiting tables, when he thinks Pellegrino is a wine?
Do you think most people even take the time to ask themselves that question? I don’t. I probably spend so much time wondering why everyone is doing whatever it is that they are doing that I never stop to ask myself, why do I care?
SO, I am asking myself right now. Why do I write?
Lets see, there seems to be a million reasons I could go with, lets start with the most obvious. I am a seriously scattered, dramatic, wack job! I can not possibly sort out the butt-zillion things that go on in my head in a single day, unless I write them down. I am a list maker, outliner, hysterical, letter-writing-complainer, soap box stander.
I think that the only way to make any sense, out of the befuddled mess in my head, is to put it on paper. Then, when I take the time to reread what I have written. Sometimes I can see what the heck it was, that was keeping me up at night. Sometimes, it takes other people who read what I wrote, to point out the most obvious positions of my writing, that I never noticed at all. Sometimes they change my mind!
Hallelujah!! Yes!!! My mind can be changed!!
I know that this concept is confusing to many, so I am going to spell it out. Sometimes your thoughts are WRONG!! If I take the time to write something that I am curious or passionate about, sometimes, it really clears my head. I can see with the vision of 20/20, in hindsight, what is misguided about my thinking. I can’t say that I always correct myself, but sometimes. And that my friends, is something.
The other reason I write, which really should not be left unsaid, is because it’s fun. End of story, fade out, last chapter. Why else would you continue to do anything in life. If it’s not fun, STOP DOING IT!!!
WHY do you think, that guy is stopping in the middle of the street, to tie his shoe?
WHY, is she leaving her husband after 12 years?
WHY, is this guy waiting tables, when he thinks Pellegrino is a wine?
Do you think most people even take the time to ask themselves that question? I don’t. I probably spend so much time wondering why everyone is doing whatever it is that they are doing that I never stop to ask myself, why do I care?
SO, I am asking myself right now. Why do I write?
Lets see, there seems to be a million reasons I could go with, lets start with the most obvious. I am a seriously scattered, dramatic, wack job! I can not possibly sort out the butt-zillion things that go on in my head in a single day, unless I write them down. I am a list maker, outliner, hysterical, letter-writing-complainer, soap box stander.
I think that the only way to make any sense, out of the befuddled mess in my head, is to put it on paper. Then, when I take the time to reread what I have written. Sometimes I can see what the heck it was, that was keeping me up at night. Sometimes, it takes other people who read what I wrote, to point out the most obvious positions of my writing, that I never noticed at all. Sometimes they change my mind!
Hallelujah!! Yes!!! My mind can be changed!!
I know that this concept is confusing to many, so I am going to spell it out. Sometimes your thoughts are WRONG!! If I take the time to write something that I am curious or passionate about, sometimes, it really clears my head. I can see with the vision of 20/20, in hindsight, what is misguided about my thinking. I can’t say that I always correct myself, but sometimes. And that my friends, is something.
The other reason I write, which really should not be left unsaid, is because it’s fun. End of story, fade out, last chapter. Why else would you continue to do anything in life. If it’s not fun, STOP DOING IT!!!
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