Creepy Van Guy

Thanks to this years budget cuts, our new bus stop is nearly a mile from our house. Being the FABULOUS mom that I am, I make the kids walk it every morning. I actually pick them up in the car after school, cuz I think they’re probably tired, but in the morning I think a little walking is good for them. Yesterday, on our walk to the bus, a creepy looking guy in a white van pulls up next to us and rolls down his window.

Creepy grin, “No school today?”

“No, we have school. Just walking to the bus stop.” I reply.

Creepy guy looks at my kids and asks, “Do you want a ride?”

8-year-old son, “YEAH!”

Me, in shock and horror, “No thank you!” Staring at boy whose lost his mind!

Guy, “Opps, guess I asked the wrong one.” He drives off.

I am so surprised at first I don’t know what to say. Then I launch full on into psycho-mom, “ARE YOU CRAZY? You would take a ride from a complete stranger.”

Son: “Mom, he looked nice.”

First of all he didn’t look nice, but I realize that’s not the point. “I don’t care what he looks like, you don’t know him at all!” Then I give him the Ted Bundy example. “Ted Bundy was a really good looking guy. Totally normal looking. He would pretend he had a broken arm so women would help him and then he would throw them in the back of his van and kill them.”

Silence from the kids. Then son speaks up, “But mom, there aren’t any bad people around here.”

“Yes there are. I can guarantee you, there are bad people here too. You don’t ever EVER go with anyone you don’t know. And if someone gets out of a car and tries to grab you, you run. Fast! And scream loud!”

Son: “If someone tried to grab me or sister, I would fight him.”

I roll my eyes. “Listen to me! You can’t fight a grown man, or what if there’s two? You never let anyone get close enough to grab you, you RUN. Got it?”

He’s quiet now, I think it’s sinking in.

Today.

DH is walking with us, we get to the same spot where the guy stopped yesterday and son says, “This is the same spot where you yelled at me yesterday.”

I ask, “Well, what did you learn from yesterday?”

Son: “Bad guys drive vans.”

Yep! Stellar job parenting for me this week!! One quick note:

Dear Creepy Van Driving Guy,
Either you are a complete pedophile and I want you to GET OUT OF MY NEIGHBORHOOD, or you are a complete IDIOT! DO NOT ASK RANDOM KIDS IF THEY WANT A RIDE!! If you come around here again, I will let my eight year old KICK YOUR ASS!

I think my best bet is to NEVER let them out of my sight. This might become trouble when they want to start dating, but my job is to keep them safe. I better start saving for their therapy now.