It will be easy to keep writing this Blog if nights like last night keep happening. I was keeping my nephews and decided to invite BFF, Smarty Pants and her hubby, Dr. Love over for dinner. We made homemade pizzas and let the kids play outside. For the most part they were really good, teaching each other how to ride a skateboard and ridding anything with wheels down our really steep driveway.
At some point the kids decided to have a screaming contest. My ten-year-old nephew always wins. He screams this blood curdling, horror show, woman in the shower being stabbed multiple times scream, that he is indeed quite proud of. Which in this case, not only warranted me hollering at him out the window to KNOCK IT OFF, but also must have alerted the neighbors to the “domestic abuse” situation brewing at the Sanstra’s!
About this same time, a political discussion arose in the kitchen among the adults. Anyone who knows us knows we are on polar sides politically with the men in our lives. In fact nearly every friend I have, cancels out the votes of her husband. This leads to some very… um… active discussions.
SO… while officer Michelle is approaching our house because of the domestic abuse call they have received she hears arguing ensuing inside the hacienda! She calls for backup.
At the same moment the doorbell rings several of our kids run in through the backdoor hollering, “THE COPS ARE HERE! THE COPS ARE HERE!”
Dr. Love heads to the front door with me following close behind. Man-Eating Dog is also on his heals. Dr. Love sees the policewoman at the door and not wanting to make the situation worse by having Man-Eating DOG stirring up more trouble, (not sure yet if he's a cop eating dog too!)only opens the door a crack. Not to make ourselves look ANYMORE incriminating, he doesn’t know where the light switches are, so the porch and hallway are completely dark.
Officer: “We’ve had a report of a woman screaming at this residence, can I come in?”
Dr. Love: “Seriously, um… I have a big dog here.”
Officer: “You’re gonna need to let me in, and can you turn on some lights?”
I arrive at the door, grab M.E.D and drag him out back at the same time flipping on the lights. When I get back to the door, all 7 kids and 4 adults are now in attendance in the front hall, with a very BIG, unhappy looking policewoman.
Officer: “We’ve had a call about possible domestic abuse at this house and then I pull up and hear arguing.”
Me: “Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed, the kids were screaming outside.”
Officer: “No ma’am this was reported as a woman screaming.”
Me: “Well we are really loud, but we were just having a political conversation. I’m Susanne and I live here.” I put my hand out to shake her hand.
Smarty Pants introduces herself too and tries to shake her hand as well, the officer points at her.
Officer: “It was you.”
Smarty Pants: “Really? I mean I don’t think I was screaming.”
Officer: “No it was definitely you!”
SP: “Well I am Italian.”I am trying not to laugh. The officer tells us with her very authoritative hand motion to SHUT THE HELL UP, and talks into her shoulder radio.
Officer: “This is 244 reporting, cancel back up. Repeat- no need for back up.”
Me: “Seriously, we were just having a political discussion. They are republicans (gesturing to the guys) and we’re democrats.
Officer: “I’m on their side.” She say’s as she steps closer to Dr. Love.
Dr. Love reads the situation quickly, I mean he’s had all that medical training and he’s quick to react, right? He takes this Golden Opportunity to voice his opinion again on the subject we had been discussing.
Me (to Dr. Love): “Seriously, you’re going to start on me again? We’ve already had the cops called on us.”
Dr. Love: “Yeah, but she’s on my side.”
The officer eventually left to attend to an injury accident and we all laughed about the situation for hours after.
To the neighbor who called 911 – Thank you! It’s good to know if I was being stabbed to death in the shower scene of a horror show, someone would alert the police!
To my nephew - Dude, hit puberty already!
And To my Friends - NEVER A DULL MOMENT! LOVE YA!!
2 comments:
I soooo love you and really WHO KNEW a random Thursday could be so fun!!
Do you realize this is the same night the firetrucks showed up at our house? Neighbor smelled smoke and called to report us. We were roasting marshmallows in our Target $50 firepit. Dang neighbors. Great story and glad to see your writing again. XO
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