You know the Christmas season has officially gone into full swing when you’ve gone to one of those present exchange games and come home with the Naughty, Naughty Christmas Kit.
My party was last Friday. It was our Desperate Housewives Christmas gift exchange and let me tell you those women can shop! The gifts were so great!! There were 30 some ladies all dressed in their holiday outfits~ sparkles and glitter all around. Everyone brought a yummy treat to share and there was of course a little libation pouring as well.
I have never been to one of the DH events (that’s not really what they call it, it’s the Mothers Group, but I like my title better). So, I only knew about half of the gals that attended. The hostess is a very good friend and she flicked me…hard… when I wavered about going. SO I WENT! And I’m so glad I did.
After the gals ate a bit and chit chatted a little catching up and meeting one another, it was time for the game to begin. You know how it’s played, if you don’t you must not get invited to parties much… in any case, I picked number 3! Not a very good pick. This number guarantees you will be choosing more than one gift and probably going home with a stinker.
I picked a beautiful white angel that was very quickly stolen. Not long after my pick, a lovely older woman, whom I don’t know, chose her gift. She unwrapped the Naughty, Naughty Christmas Kit. I honestly don’t know this lady’s age but I’m here to tell you she probably wouldn’t know what to do with the fuzzy red handcuffs or the step-by-step instructional guide. I am pretty sure that ship had sailed…
As the game played on, I had for a moment, a lovely set of Christmas plates, and then once again stolen my angel back. The entire time I was waiting for someone who knew this lovely gal to take the Naughty Christmas gift and give her another shot. Out of all of the incredible gifts of the night only two were of sexual nature. How is it that one of them was chosen by the oldest member of the group?
Finally, my turn came up again as someone stole my angel for the third time. I had a momentary flash of my grandma in the fuzzy red handcuffs and after a stiff shot of something one of the gals brought (buttery nipple babies???) knew what I had to do. I stole the Naughty Christmas gift from Grandma. The entire room erupted, all singing my praises for my selfless act, saving Christmas for this little old lady. If they only knew how happy hubby was when I came home with my gift.
After that the party really started, Hostess with the Mostest opened the package and began reading the instructional guide. Little helpful tips like, “Sensuality is a must in any romantic relationship and believe it or not, the skin is the body’s largest organ, which makes it the most important part of your sensuality!” Grandma fainted, and more of the buttery shots went around.
Next thing I knew I was handcuffed to Hostess. I laughed so hard I peed my pants, and somehow the entire night passed in a butter shot blur. The Hostess ate an entire plate of cream cheese with jelly and in fact almost kicked someone’s ass for trying to throw it out. (I later heard from her that butter shots and cream cheese with jelly really isn’t a good idea and should be remembered as such in the future.)
At one thirty in the morning, my darling designated driver dropped my buttery butt home. I crawled into my bed next to hubby mumbling something about pictures of me handcuffed to Hostess posted on the Internet and fell asleep in Christmassy bliss! Fabulous, Fabulous party! SO happy that I attended and no matter how selfless you think I was being that night, the Naughty, Naughty Christmas gift will be the present I remember the most of 2008!
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