My Elves

My sister and I went to a talk yesterday by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love. It was a really interesting and fun time. She gave some wonderful anecdotes, some advice and her perspective about not only the book but about writing and finding your own path.

The thing that struck me most about her was the same as when I was reading EPL. She thinks a lot like me. She seems terribly scattered. One of her first stories was about missing a plane while sitting right next to the boarding gate. She wasn’t meditating or thinking about anything life changing, she was simply in her own world with her everyday thoughts. The plane boarded with people all around her and she missed it all.

She went on to say that on the other end of this mishap, that is completely part of her personal make-up, was a room full of people who paid to hear her talk about how spiritually grounded she is now. How she has gone from being a depressed mess to a whole person. She didn’t intend to let anyone down, it just happened, but it conflicts with the message that people may read from EPL.

I find that happens to me.

I think people have an impression of who I am that is not completely flattering. They think I am flaky, and not particularly caring. How else can you explain the fact that someone close to me just told me a very personal and significant story about themselves and I never heard a word of it.

I tend to fade when there is drama. You know the everyday kind that seems terribly important to those that are in the eye of the hurricane? It’s really not that I don’t care. I just simply lost the connection. Dropped the call. Slipped off the edge, right in front of you.

Elizabeth spent the second half of the event answering questions. Someone asked her how she handles the criticism that EPL is very self absorbed. I suppose that’s what people think of me. Too busy with my own thoughts to listen or remain present. And I suppose in a way that’s true, but the thoughts that are usually causing such a stir that I can’t ignore them are not entirely about me. Usually they are about completely fictional characters or situations.

Elizabeth called it your Genius. Not that I think I am one, but she described artists of the past as having Genius that is similar to having a little elf in your house. A house elf, you know, like Dobby from Harry Potter. I can relate to this well. The thoughts that distract me most often almost seem like a conversation between this elf and myself.

I start down a path that was constructed by someone I am talking with. The first thoughts might actually be real and related to the conversation but within a couple of seconds they jump around like little Mexican jumping beans and land somewhere completely fictional and honestly more interesting.

I suppose this is all very hard to understand, as it seems hard to explain. And I am a little afraid that if I explained myself better you all might think I am psychotic. Little elf voices in my head, Yikes!!

I was just very satisfied to know that I am not the only one out there with these particular obstacles. It also bolsters my confidence to know, I am not self absorbed or uncaring, I am simply easily distracted by elves. See it’s very simple…