You look so Familiar

I haven’t written anything in a while. After a criticism cut too close to me I lost some of the pleasure of it all. After reading The Wednesday Sisters by Meg Waite Clayton, I feel a little better. I am anxious to start again.

I enjoy and appreciate all the people who’ve told me they miss this blog. It’ll never be truly gone because it is beyond me to keep things, thoughts, ideas to myself. This part of my writing is a simple release. I do it to express a thought that’s important to me, or to explore an idea or situation that I found funny. It is not to be taken too seriously.

If you can’t read what I write with that thought in mind, I would prefer you didn’t read it at all.

SO! Here’s a recap of the last few months. We took a trip to Spain, which was fabulous, yes, I did find the Worlds Best Chocolate Cake and it was actually the BEST!

The kid’s school year ended with one finishing kindergarten and one finishing 2nd grade.

They are now on summer break and bored to tears. They ask me for a snack every five minutes and pick a fight with each other every ten.

We got a new rabbit that looks a lot like an Ewok. Her name is Gracie.

Much to my surprise, the man-eating dog got along fabulously with the dog-sitting-man during our trip to Spain.

Our old yellow lab is still holding on, although DH reminds me everyday he won’t make it much longer. Course, he’s been saying this for a few years now so I don’t really listen.

I allowed my hairdresser to add many, MANY more blond streaks to my hair in an attempt to jolt DH and get his undivided attention. I called and told him I’d gone blond. When he got home he said, “It’s not really blond.” That was the end of that conversation…

The best conversation I’ve had in a while was with my best friend’s FIL (Father In Law). They came over to my house for lunch while they were in town visiting. We were sitting in my living room chatting when he looked at me intently and said, “You look so familiar.”

Me: “I think I have a familiar face, people tell me that all the time.”

FIL: “Well I watch that show on HBO called the Bunny Ranch.”

Me: “Huh?”

FIL: “Did you ever work in Vegas?”

It took me about 30 seconds to realize he just asked me if I’d ever worked as a prostitute in Vegas. I smiled, as MIL stuttered, “NO! She looks like Jill Taylor.”

FIL: “Who the hell is Jill Taylor?”

MIL: “You remember Tim the Tool Man’s wife?”

This is the reason you don’t invite anyone else’s in-laws to your house… ever.

Other than that, it’s been pretty quiet around here. DH and I will be celebrating 10 years in Aug. I am also looking forward to both my kids being in school full time. DH will be working from home now, which leads to lots of fun phone conversations to the basement. I will be sure to keep you apprised.

Boot Scootin' FABOOSH!

I have been sitting at my computer today for hours looking over all the fabulous pictures from the weekend. They are just so fun!

Smarty Pants and I decided when we first took on the big BOOT SCOOTIN’ BOOGIE fundraiser for our school, that aside from doing our best to make money, we also wanted people to have fun.

I think we accomplished that!!!

First off, we hired DJ Jazzy Jeff, which was the BEST idea ever. I know I don’t do this much in the blog, but I’m actually going to use his real name because if you’re looking for a great DJ, he’s the guy to pick. RockCandy Professional DJ’s, Adam Krolicki.

I handed Adam a 6-page script ten minutes before the event began and he worked it all out beautifully. He was fun during all the raffles and played GREAT music that people really wanted to dance to…and to add icing to the DJ cake… he’s a great dancer!!

He took Smarty Pants and me out for a spin. He whirled, twirled and threw us around the dance floor. I seriously forgot how much I love to dance! It was FABOOSH! (that’s my new favorite word) He was seriously the best choice we made through the whole planning business.

We have been getting comments from so many people and the one thing they all tell us is how much fun they had! I’m so happy about that. At first I really thought the only thing that would matter at the end was how much money we made. We did make TONS of money … but the more our friends and the teachers and staff at the school tell us how much fun they had, the happier I feel.


So, I guess our kids will continue to learn, with schoolbooks and desks and chairs and all they deem necessary, and we helped the best way we could, but the BEST absolute BEST thing that came out of all of this is Smarty Pants!

Thanks for being a true friend! I love you!

Ran into God today

Went for a run this morning and for a second I thought I’d stepped through the magical wardrobe into a whole new world. We got a good foot or so of snow last night. This morning however the sun was shining so I decided to venture out. I told DH if it was too cold I’d only go around the block and come back.

I picked my clothing carefully… running pants and top covered by a LES sweatshirt, warm ear covering and bright PINK gloves. The pink makes me feel happy.

I headed out listing to my iPod play Diva, “I’m a, I’m a, I’m a, a diva. A Diva is a female version of a hustler…” It starts me out… well… in the right mood…

I turned the corner from our street out to the main road and that’s when it happened, the entire world turned into a fabulous, magical portrait. I was running down the black top, which was met, on either side, by a perfect white blanket of snow that sparkled in the sunlight. The trees lined on both sides of the street are pine trees and the green of their needles looked vastly different with the contrast of the white snow, which lay delicately on each branch. The colors were startling and incredible.

Just as I was trying to take in this perfect picture that is my home, the wind blew ever so slightly and glitter flew down from the trees dusting me gently with snowflakes. I looked up to notice the perfect blue of the sky peeking out from the forest green branches of the trees…

Smoking COW!!

Um… necessary side bar… my daughter came up with Smoking Cow when she was two. Apparently, I say Holy Smokes or Holy Cow a lot when I’m talking. So one day we went to visit my grandma who lives on the eight floor of her building. When we stepped off the elevator, my daughter looked out the window and exclaimed, “Smoking Cow we’re up high!” It has become my favorite expression of wonder and awe…

Needless to say, I ran the whole four miles. When I got to our big open field and turned the corner to be completely surrounded by mountains with the vast open space, a perfect shining carpet of white for miles, I thought about God. I could have been sitting in a church today, listening to a sermon about morality or the rules or path to enlightenment, but I have to tell you… nothing would have made me feel closer, nothing could have been more real to me than what I experienced in the ONLY church, I know for a fact God created.

Miles and Miles of Lavender

Fabulous week… really FABULOUS, it’s was Spring Break for the kids so my sister and I took them all on a car trip to the Grand Canyon. 2360 miles round trip! First day, we went to Albuquerque, my dad lives there, and stayed two nights with our family.

Just so you know, if you stop at a weigh station on the side of the road, they really won’t weigh you…even if you explain to them you’ve been on a diet and working really hard to lose weight, they still won’t, regulations…you need to be a truck, blah blah blah. Then we left for Flagstaff, AZ.

When my sister and I do car trips it’s much better if there are no men present, especially men with a PLAN. Little boys don’t really count, we are raising them to be free thinkers and GO with the FLOW! Which is, by the way, what we named my phones GPS… FLOis.

We like to see the sights on the side of the road… two headed cow, we’re there… giant crater, OH YEAH!! Petrified National Forest, who wants to miss that?

FLOis was terribly entertaining as we ventured off course at every available opportunity.
FLOis- “Recalculating route… you are not on a marked road… make a u-turn at the next possible place.” Sorry FLOis, taking the unmarked path is ALWAYS the best way to see the world.

So, we saw the Grand Canyon, the meteor crater, the Petrified National Forest, and the Out of Africa Safari in the middle of NOWHERE, AZ! But the best place of all… Sedona, Az. The Metaphysical Capitol of the WORLD!

I have INCREDIBLE news!! I am NOT Autistic, nor do I have Asperger’s disease as my darling great Auntie diagnosed me after reading the March 18th Blog… Nope, no diseases or afflictions.

I AM A LAVENDER!!!

Sister and I had our Auras read. They take you into a little room and have you look into a camera. Then you place your left hand on a sensor pad and it takes your picture. Ten minutes later you have a 22 page Aura Chakra Report.

My main Aura Color, which reflects my personality type and traits is Lavender. Lavenders are imaginative, mystical, fantastical, soft, fragile, sensitive, often spacey and ethereal.

Lavenders dislike being confronted with reality. They are creative thinkers. They need creative and artistic expressions to recharge their batteries. They are unpredictable, spontaneous, need solitude and are not always practical. They only have a few close friends and need visionary people who can see the potential in their ideas.

Lavenders are fun to be around but can be somewhat scattered! They work the best in quiet environments and would be attracted to occupations such as storyteller, artist, writer, actor, dancer. Need I say more?? I am TOTALLY a lavender!

My chakras are all out of whack though… I have very low energy. I think this is two fold. One, I was on a 2000 mile driving trip with four kids… how much energy could I possibly have? And Dos, I haven’t recharged my battery with ANY type of artistic anything in a really long time.

My heart chakra, which corresponds to unconditional love, self-love and forgiveness is my smallest, weakest chakra. I’m not really surprised by this, lets just say I need to work on these areas.

I know the realists in this world (darling hubby) laugh at me when I talk about this stuff. All I can say is, they took a picture of me, and validated all of the feelings I have been having lately about myself. One of the sentences in the report says, "Some Lavenders may feel guilty or inadequate because of their unorthodox behavior." THERE WAS A FARMER, HAD A DOG AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O.

My Aura Chakra report tells anyone who wants to read it what to expect from me. It’s in my opinion DEAD ON! When I am running away from reality, sitting in my loft in imaginary worlds created by me, or seemingly drifting away from a conversation, there is a reason and it’s very simple…its who I am. Like it or not.

Oodles of Loodles!

So all pouty face poor me from yesterday aside, today was a fabulous day! Other than the fact that my little girl threw up in gym class... but that's a whole 'nother blog...

One of the things I do at my kid's school is set up assemblies. I am privileged to be able to pick which parts of their little brains to stimulate, or what experience to give them once a month, all year long! It's fabulous!!

There are four of us who help with this part of school we call Enrichment. Enriching their lives, giving them access to things they wouldn't normally get in the typical school day. So far this year we've had The Denver Zoo, The Denver Museum of Nature and Science, (who did an assembly on all the yucky things our bodies do!) The Fort Carson Singers for a Christmas performance, an incredible Veterans Day assembly, Irish Dance and TODAY??!!!

Mark Ludy! Children's author and illustrator. Here's his link, CLICK HERE, seriously... click it... you have to see it... go on! Mark has written these incredible books, like The Farmer and The Grump and his newest Jujo'. The stories themselves would be fascinating and interesting even without the illustrations, but the PICTURES?!! They are unbelievable!

Not only is Mark an author and illustrator, but he's a fantastic speaker as well. We started the morning off with a short talk to the teachers. Mark shared with us his motivational views on living with the thought of what's REALLY important in our daily lives. What are we giving back to the people around us, especially to the kids? When we die, what do we leave behind? What will people say we gave them?

He told us about his favorite teacher when he was a kid going to school at Lewis Palmer Elementary, how she gave him the love of a story. For the first time, he picked up a book and realized you could dive right in to the story and live a different reality as long as you had the book open. The book he first loved... Where the Red Fern Grows!

I connected so well with what he was saying, I remember all of my favorite books, Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary. I still love every opportunity to read myself into a new reality, pick up a new story... and it's something I've really wanted to give my kids.

But, as so many things, my oldest was not willing to take it from me. He needed his teacher, the MOST FABULOUS second grade teacher in the world, to give him the love of stories. Now my kid comes home nearly every week, so excited to tell me what new book Mr. S. is reading to him. His best days? ~the one's Mr. S reads for an extra long time!!

They just finished reading, "How to Eat Fried Worms," and when he came home yesterday, this is what I got,

"Mom, I really REALLY need (best friend's name goes here) to come over tonight."

"Why?" Boy looks down, sheepish grin crosses his face. I'm on to him! I know he's up to something.

"We made a bet."

"What kind of bet?"

"He bet me, he could eat 30 worms."

"Gross! Why would he do that?"

"Cuz if he does it, I have to pay him $100!"

"You don't even have $100."

"Yes, I do. I saved my allowance."

The funny thing here is, he really has saved $100. Normally, it's like pulling teeth for him to spend any of his own money. There's no way he can part with any of it. But apparently, for an eight year old boy, seeing your best friend ingest 30 worms, TOTALLY worth $100!!

I emailed Fabulous Teacher and told him this story and his reply was, "I told them not to eat any worms... I guess books really do inspire!"

Yes, they do. And more than that, teachers inspire and authors inspire, and hopefully in some subconscious way that 8 year old boys don't actually have to admit... parents inspire. I knew I would enjoy my day today. Nothing is more fun for me than to see little minds excited about new ideas... but I actually came away with even more than I had imagined. I came home remembering to focus on what's important, and to be mindful of what I am "giving" to my kids and all the other people I encounter.

Thank you, Mark Ludy for giving me such a GREAT day, and by the way... I'm scheduling a mental health day, to take a trip to Loodles... anyone want to come with me??

Solitary Confined Cheerleader

Spring Break can not come too soon! I'm tired. Seriously, to the bone, tired. Tired of listening. Tired of talking. Tired of trying to make people happy. Tired of working things out. Tired of being positive. TIRED!!

I miss my alone in the loft writing with a bottle of wine by my side, ME. The girl who loses herself in a sentence for two hours until she sees the bus stopping in front of the house dropping off the kids. The girl who waits two hours when she really, really, REALLY, has to pee because she can't pull herself away from the click click click of her own typing. The girl who sits in the silence.

Writing is truly the part of me, I like the best. I miss all of it.

I haven't even tried to write any of the ongoing projects. I need to reread everything I've written before I can even begin, and by the time I'm done with reading, my time is up... I need to be able to dive in, head first, remember the stories, meet the characters again. I just don't have the time right now.

My son just finished his basketball season. It was eight weeks. I didn't even try to meet any of the other parents. I went to the games and cheered him on and then left. No time or desire to meet or care about anyone new. BIG SECRET -- I didn't even bring snacks, not once... nothing.

My little girl is starting soccer. The good news is, I already know all the parents. I know them, but do they know me?? Do they know, I'm not really listening when they talk about their vacations, about their jobs, their spouse trouble? I can't really help myself. My mind is too full of other things.

I actually find it odd when people can be involved in trivial conversations.

"So, how's the dog training coming?"

"OH, not so good. Benji peed on the carpet nine times yesterday!"

"You poor thing!"

"The vet thinks he may have a bladder infection."

I tuned out at Dog Training.

I often wonder, if my present personality were evaluated what the diagnosis would be, not ADD or ADHD, I'm not OCD (well, maybe a little). Honestly, I think other than down right RUDE, I might be considered somewhat Autistic. Autism by definition means: a developmental disorder marked by impaired social interactions, communication difficulties.

I have learned to cope. I can play the game. But really, I live too much in my own head. In my Happy Place. Somewhere, where I don't have to be social or gracious or polite, where I don't have to engage in idol chatter, somewhere deep in my imagination where no one cares what I say or do or expects anything from me.

Pretty shocking admission from a former Cheerleader, isn't it.

Goiters and Girl Scout Cookies

I just found out I have a FREE day!! There isn’t one single thing I HAVE to do today. It was planned differently, Smarty Pants and I had plans to do Boot design on the front entry display case at the school, but plans change.

Smarty Pants is sick, she has a goiter… um… lymph node, swollen in her neck. Her exact words were, “It looks like I swallowed an egg!” I can’t wait to hear the phone call when she reads this!


SP “What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you write about my goiter?”

ME “Can’t help myself… it’s funny.”

SP “Would it be funny if it was your goiter?”

ME “Absolutely not.”


If this were DH (darling hubby) with a swollen lymph node in his neck, the world would stop rotating. That’s what happens when he’s sick. SERIOUSLY, the world stops rotating! It stays the same time of day for 48 hours. No one works or goes to school. Everyone must pay attention to the sick guy. Smarty Pants still has a full day of activities including dance for her daughter and lunch with a friend. You GO GIRL!!!

I on the other hand have nothing to do… I can’t even remember what this feels like. Now don’t get me wrong. There are grocery store needs, and laundry piles, and dust accumulating around the house, but none of this really affects anyone but ME!

So what do I do on a day when I can choose anything I want to do?

I started out on a walk with Cujo. He tried to eat the neighbor. I hollered at the neighbor as he ran away screaming, “We have a new trainer, we’re trying REALLY HARD!!” He didn’t seem to care.

I came home and did my new “Crunchless Abs” DVD. When I was finished, I felt like nothing much had happened, so I did “Abs of Steel” too. Now my stomach hurts and I feel like I could throw up.

I read all my favorite blogs and decided to write one of my own… that’s what I’m doing now… duh…

Next, I think I’ll either take inventory of the Girl Scout cookies still in my house, or I’ll spend a couple hours wasting time on FaceBook. Maybe, I’ll do BOTH!

I like days like this… I think I’ll be pretty happy today as soon as my Abs stop cramping. Hey Smarty Pants, Hope you feel better SOON!!! :)