It was 4am and I was standing on my front porch in the dark, praying that a mountain lion wouldn’t eat me before I had my chance to conquer the mountains. Two close friends, my sister and I were climbing Greys and Torreys, two of Colorado’s beautiful 14ers so we had to get an early start.
The night before, as I packed my bag, I wondered if I would really need my lipstick. I packed it anyway. As the four of us met to drive up together I told them I was all set - lipstick in hand. They all laughed but each of them had brought an unusual item. One of them also brought lipstick (we are very much alike), one brought her iPod with the flashlight application (it really didn’t shine very bright), and one… my sister, brought some of the ashes of her husband Steve.
We had a goal. Steve loved the outdoors. He loved climbing the highest mountains he could find. Lisa and Steve had a plan to climb one together. In a way, we were going to accomplish that today.
As we drove up in the dark, we laughed and talked about the day. We were all excited. The two friends had done this before but this was the first 14er for my sister and me. Lisa and I were excited and a little anxious. They made fun of me for drinking coffee on the way up, they were pretty sure this would become a problem later in the morning. I couldn’t help it, there’s no way I’m rising before dawn without a little Joe.
We started out on the trail just before 6 am. The sun was beginning to rise and we were relieved to see we wouldn’t need the iPod flashlight to show us the way. We all chatted. The path at the beginning is a very gradual climb. We had a pretty long stretch before we would be above tree line. After a short time, I noticed my sister wasn’t talking much. I thought she was thinking about the day. Turned out she couldn’t breathe very well and was struggling not to pass out.
The friends who had done this before quickly realized what was happening and gave her some time to rest. They assured her this was a journey and it wasn’t about how fast we did it, it was only about accomplishing our goal. We fed her a snack, gave her some water and started off again.
Throughout the first part of the climb we stopped often. Letting everyone catch their breath and getting acclimated to the altitude. Then as we rounded a corner in the hike, the mountains we were about to climb suddenly appeared before us. They looked very far away and beyond challenging. I remembered a line from a book I read recently, “The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.” I was still excited and my adrenaline kept me moving forward.
I’m not sure of all the thoughts that went through Lisa’s head as we climbed. She only voiced a few.
“What the hell are we doing?”
“This is the stupidest thing we’ve ever done.”
“Look at all these happy ass people coming down.”
“Is she really running up this mountain in shorts? What the hell is wrong with that woman?”
“What have you bitches gotten me into?”
There were times when she was sincerely mad at us for getting her into the situation. The last time I saw that look on her face was in 6th grade when I wore her new Britanica jeans to field day and I fell and ripped them. She was pissed.
As we got towards the top of Greys, the wind picked up and it got really cold. I actually have never felt wind like that even when I lived in Kansas. I seriously thought for one second that it might blow me right off the mountain. I haven’t felt that light in a really long… well, EVER! It was fierce, almost like the last push to the top needed to be the hardest challenge any of us could bear.
During the hike I pretty much stayed in front the whole way, but as I knew we were about to summit I backed off. I wanted Lisa to be the first one up. She stepped up on the mountain and stood frozen to her spot for a moment. Then she turned around and we all started to cry.
We made it! It was freezing cold and the wind was whipping us about but we stood and took photos and then waited while Lisa retrieved Steve’s ashes from her backpack. She stood on the edge while we all watched, and let some of Steve’s ashes fly off the side of the mountain into the wind. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust… Steve would have been so proud of us.
We would have liked to stay on the mountain and revel in our success but we weren’t done yet. The saddleback to Torreys lay ahead. It looked very steep, but not nearly as far as standing at the bottom looking up at both of them. As we crossed the saddleback there was talk about heading back and not tackling the second mountain. As far as Lisa was concerned she’d done what she came for and didn’t need another hour climb. I knew before anyone else had decided that there was no way I was leaving without tackling Torreys as well.
I just kept walking and they all followed behind, BUT… not before I realized I SERIOUSLY had to pee! We had been above tree line for hours now and there wasn’t really any place to squat without bystanders. I was getting to the point where I didn’t really care who saw me pee, but as we came down the saddleback, I realized we were in a perfect spot. I called out to my other friend who I knew needed to go as badly as I did and we both dropped our drawers. There’s something really cool about peeing on the side of a mountain! I felt very manly!
Anyway, after the call of nature was complete we headed up the steep and rocky road to Torreys. Lisa was struggling. Finally, she gave up. She sat down and started to cry. I knew she was irritated. I also knew our friends would sit with her until she was ready to either continue on or give up. There was just one problem. There were dark clouds starting to roll in. I’m all about accomplishing my goals, but not when there is a great risk of being struck by lightening!! That’s the only time of the entire day when I contemplated giving up.
Lisa convinced us to continue up without her. We could move faster and hopefully beat the clouds. The one friend who has climbed the most 14ers convinced me these were snow clouds and not rain clouds. I sure hoped she was right. As we climbed we caught up with some guys who we had met on the other mountain. They asked if we had lost one of our friends. We said yes she was waiting down below, but when we turned to check on her we saw she was heading up behind us. We all started to cheer for her.
We all four made it to the top of Torreys together!
At the top there was a scroll to sign with our names and the date we climbed. I wrote my name and Lisa’s and then I wrote Steve Mitchell RIP 9-14-09. Lisa again opened the bag of ashes and let some more of Steve fly off of the mountain top and into the wind. I took a moment to really look around. It was incredible being up above all of the other mountains. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I can’t imagine a place Steve would love more.
We soon started back down. The journey down was actually harder for me than the trip up. All of the excitement and anticipation was behind me. It was snowy and slick and in some places treacherous. I didn’t enjoy stumbling and falling on the rocks and snow. We all laughed and made the best of it, but the only thing that really kept me going were the Mojitos I knew were waiting for us in the car and MAN were they worth it!!
My friends asked me if I thought that was harder than running the BolderBoulder. I had to think about it for a second. At the BolderBoulder I hit a wall. In mile 5 I was tired and didn’t think I could keep going. It was the hardest HOUR of my life, but this hike was 8 hours. It tested my endurance and although I never felt physically like I wouldn’t finish, it was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Afterwards we drove a little way down the mountain and found a good place to park. We all sat together, enjoyed a snack and our cocktails, and talked about our day. I remember after Steve died Lisa’s therapist told her that healing was similar to climbing a mountain. It would be difficult and long but she could make it to the top.
I am so proud of her for all that she has accomplished in the last three years. She was dealt a really shitty hand. Things have been so hard, but she has NEVER given up. She may bitch about the climb, she may even sit out once in a while thinking she’s done, but she always gets back up and continues on. I hope that in the tough times in my life I will have the strength she has had to always make it to the top.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Beware!! Aggressive Mountain Goats
I’m feeling rather random lately and I wouldn’t be surprised if this blog is a mess.
I’m pissed off that our school principal wouldn’t let our kids see the Presidential address. I remember when I was a kid. I loved the president. I had NO idea if he was a Republican or a Democrat, I loved him because he was the President.
Our principal said it was because our school doesn’t have the bandwidth capacity to allow all of the classes to watch. Funny, when I was in Jr. High we watched the space shuttle explode on a TINY little TV. in the library. There were no expectations for the entire school to have individual showings in their own classrooms. We ALL huddled around a 9inch and watched together. I just don’t see what would have been the harm in SHARING a computer screen. Unbelievable…
I honestly thought about taking my kids out of the school for the address, and showing them here at home. But after I heard what the message was… staying in school and working hard, kind of seemed like a contradiction.
And THEN last night, I had my kids sitting next to me on the sofa watching the Presidential address to Congress. I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised when someone yelled out at the President that he was a liar! And I suppose my immediate tears were an over-reaction, but WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?
Where has our integrity gone? How about basic MANNERS? How can we expect our children to respect their elders, their principals, teachers etc. when they are watching the HIGHEST Official in our country be screamed at while he is trying to speak? I’m not feeling all that confident over the state of our country. President Obama talked last night about the “character of our country”, I think we should be pretty ashamed of that today.
Besides all that political business, my darling boy has his first football game tonight. I am excited! I hope he does well.
I am working on re-writes and editing again on the book I have been working on for over two years. I am getting really close to the next step, or at least deciding the next step. It’s pretty difficult. To me it’s like trying to decide which babysitter you should choose for your newborn. I am afraid of handing it over only to hear the baby go THUD!
And in other news… I’m hiking my first fourteener on Sunday. Well actually, I’m hiking my first TWO! I’m excited and a little nervous... I’ve heard those mountain goats are pretty aggressive!!
I’m pissed off that our school principal wouldn’t let our kids see the Presidential address. I remember when I was a kid. I loved the president. I had NO idea if he was a Republican or a Democrat, I loved him because he was the President.
Our principal said it was because our school doesn’t have the bandwidth capacity to allow all of the classes to watch. Funny, when I was in Jr. High we watched the space shuttle explode on a TINY little TV. in the library. There were no expectations for the entire school to have individual showings in their own classrooms. We ALL huddled around a 9inch and watched together. I just don’t see what would have been the harm in SHARING a computer screen. Unbelievable…
I honestly thought about taking my kids out of the school for the address, and showing them here at home. But after I heard what the message was… staying in school and working hard, kind of seemed like a contradiction.
And THEN last night, I had my kids sitting next to me on the sofa watching the Presidential address to Congress. I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised when someone yelled out at the President that he was a liar! And I suppose my immediate tears were an over-reaction, but WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?
Where has our integrity gone? How about basic MANNERS? How can we expect our children to respect their elders, their principals, teachers etc. when they are watching the HIGHEST Official in our country be screamed at while he is trying to speak? I’m not feeling all that confident over the state of our country. President Obama talked last night about the “character of our country”, I think we should be pretty ashamed of that today.
Besides all that political business, my darling boy has his first football game tonight. I am excited! I hope he does well.
I am working on re-writes and editing again on the book I have been working on for over two years. I am getting really close to the next step, or at least deciding the next step. It’s pretty difficult. To me it’s like trying to decide which babysitter you should choose for your newborn. I am afraid of handing it over only to hear the baby go THUD!
And in other news… I’m hiking my first fourteener on Sunday. Well actually, I’m hiking my first TWO! I’m excited and a little nervous... I’ve heard those mountain goats are pretty aggressive!!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
It's my birthday!
Today is my birthday. I am not generally a big fan of my birthday. It’s not the getting older part but the expectation of having a GREAT birthday. I don’t love being the center of attention. I feel like I’m living in a fishbowl on my birthday, everyone judging, “Is she having a good day? What’s she doing? SO… do you have BIG plans for your birthday?”
“Ummmm… no.”
But today started out fabulous, and the plans I have are fabulous too!
My son keeps telling me this is going to be his best day ever! He gets to change seats today in class (apparently a very big deal), then Dr. Love is taking him to football practice after school (a huge highlight to show off in front of someone new), then he gets to come to my “party”. It made me happy to walk with him to the bus stop and listen to how excited he is for HIS big day!
After the kids got on the bus I took a leisurely walk back to the house. It was very quiet and I reflected on how lucky I am. I have the best friends I’ve ever had in my life. They are this group of incredible women who can accomplish anything! I have been lucky to be a part of this group for a couple of years now and we just seem to get closer through time. They are the friends who I will go through the rest of my life with. We will have good times and tragic times, we will have disagreements and we will have parties, we will drink coffee together and booze. No matter what, I feel secure in their friendship. With them, I know I can be myself.
Dear friends, thank you!!!
After I write this I’m going to meet Smarty Pants. She is one of the best things that came out of 37. I remember thinking for a really long time that I wasn’t looking for my Ethel. I wanted to have many friends who filled many parts of my life but I didn’t need a best friend. I was wrong, I got my Ethel. She is someone to call when Ricky is being a pest! Someone who will bring cake over when she knows I need it, and someone who won’t necessarily get me out of a jam but will join me in the predicament because we both know it’ll be more fun to stick it out than to cut and run. I love you Ethel. Love Lucy
And tonight we are gathering with my great group of friends, my mom and my sister for a “random Tuesday night party.” Smarty Pants knows I don’t love my birthday, so she sent out this invitation.
Hello,
I am going to have a party at my house on Tuesday the 1st of September right after school until ???. It is only a coincidence that this happens to be SUSANNE's BITRHDAY!!
It is very important that you do not call it her birthday party. Do not bring her a gift (she made me promise to put that part but what can she really do?). Just so you know she has also threatened me with physical violence but I am not afraid. Anyway, dinner is a Mexican theme!! Let me know if you want to bring something but you don't have too!!
We will be having Chocolate cake...not birthday cake... just because we like cake, cake!!
I hope you can all come to the non-birthday its just a random Tuesday party!!!
Xoxo
SO… I am going to go eat “just because we like cake, cake!!” And I am going to enjoy being with my friends and family. Looks like I do have BIG plans. Hey, maybe there is something to this whole birthday thing after all! YEAH ME!!!
“Ummmm… no.”
But today started out fabulous, and the plans I have are fabulous too!
My son keeps telling me this is going to be his best day ever! He gets to change seats today in class (apparently a very big deal), then Dr. Love is taking him to football practice after school (a huge highlight to show off in front of someone new), then he gets to come to my “party”. It made me happy to walk with him to the bus stop and listen to how excited he is for HIS big day!
After the kids got on the bus I took a leisurely walk back to the house. It was very quiet and I reflected on how lucky I am. I have the best friends I’ve ever had in my life. They are this group of incredible women who can accomplish anything! I have been lucky to be a part of this group for a couple of years now and we just seem to get closer through time. They are the friends who I will go through the rest of my life with. We will have good times and tragic times, we will have disagreements and we will have parties, we will drink coffee together and booze. No matter what, I feel secure in their friendship. With them, I know I can be myself.
Dear friends, thank you!!!
After I write this I’m going to meet Smarty Pants. She is one of the best things that came out of 37. I remember thinking for a really long time that I wasn’t looking for my Ethel. I wanted to have many friends who filled many parts of my life but I didn’t need a best friend. I was wrong, I got my Ethel. She is someone to call when Ricky is being a pest! Someone who will bring cake over when she knows I need it, and someone who won’t necessarily get me out of a jam but will join me in the predicament because we both know it’ll be more fun to stick it out than to cut and run. I love you Ethel. Love Lucy
And tonight we are gathering with my great group of friends, my mom and my sister for a “random Tuesday night party.” Smarty Pants knows I don’t love my birthday, so she sent out this invitation.
Hello,
I am going to have a party at my house on Tuesday the 1st of September right after school until ???. It is only a coincidence that this happens to be SUSANNE's BITRHDAY!!
It is very important that you do not call it her birthday party. Do not bring her a gift (she made me promise to put that part but what can she really do?). Just so you know she has also threatened me with physical violence but I am not afraid. Anyway, dinner is a Mexican theme!! Let me know if you want to bring something but you don't have too!!
We will be having Chocolate cake...not birthday cake... just because we like cake, cake!!
I hope you can all come to the non-birthday its just a random Tuesday party!!!
Xoxo
SO… I am going to go eat “just because we like cake, cake!!” And I am going to enjoy being with my friends and family. Looks like I do have BIG plans. Hey, maybe there is something to this whole birthday thing after all! YEAH ME!!!
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