Have you ever had one of those nights where every person you meet is so interesting they should be a character in a movie or book? No?… me neither, until Saturday night.
My girl Smarty Pants invited me to go out on the town with her BFF for the last 25 years and another gal they’ve been friends with for a long time. We’ll call her Shots, and I’ll tell you why a little later.
We had tickets to the Denver Center Performance of “Girls Only” a comedy show that includes singing, dancing, improv, little movie clips and other downright hilarious skits. When we arrived at the theatre we did what came naturally, and bellied up to the bar for a cocktail.
As we were imbibing we noticed a group of gals who clearly drew all the attention in the room. Gal #1, we’ll call her Pinkie, was dressed in a bright and shiny pink plastic bag that was cut down to her navel and rode up her thigh nearly showing the “happy landing” to the entire room. She had on matching pink gloves and shoes to complete the ensemble.
At first we all assumed she and her friends, who were equally noticeable, must be in the show. They all had on very interesting outfits which really should be referred to as costumes. Turns out, Pinkie’s getting married and all of her dress up friends joined her for a night out on the town to celebrate. It leads my mind to consider what in the world her wedding dress will look like. Too bad, I’ll never get to know.
After the hilarious show we hit the Denver bar scene. At the first bar we met up with a couple of guys who were more than happy to give us the bar tour around town. One of our new friends was leaving on a trip Monday to travel abroad for two months. His plan was to stay in Hostels and see as much of the world as he could.
As he was telling us this, I heard a gasp from one of the girls followed by an incredulous, “Have you gotten all your shots?” A moment passed and then we all burst out laughing. Our cover was blown. Yep, we really are just a bunch of mom’s who will no doubt worry about the health and well being of world travelers… Thus earning her the name “Shots” from here on out. (not what you were thinking, huh?)
After several more bars, dancing to some GREAT music, and watching as three policemen tried to get a vagrant off the street, we decided it was time to go for breakfast. It was 2am!! How time flies…
We left the last bar and headed out looking for a cab. As we were walking, Shots and BFF tripped and fell in the street. I immediately started yelling to Smarty Pants, “MAN DOWN! WE’VE GOT A MAN DOWN.” Smarty Pants was laughing so hard she nearly peed her pants. I’m seriously glad that didn’t happen, cuz she might have ruined her fabulous leopard skin shoes…
We got everyone back on their feet and found ourselves in a very interesting diner! The first thing I noticed was the bathroom doors were locked with a code…interesting…
After waiting a little bit we were finally seated in a booth right by the door. About two seconds later, a fascinating little man approached us. He was wearing jean overalls with a Tennessee T on the pocket and a red shirt. His belly can only be described as a perfectly round little sphere. He came up to our table in all his glory and addressed Smarty Pants in a very flamboyant and southern accent, “Girl, you should not be sitting in that outfit! That’s just too beautiful for sitting.”
“My God look at you girls,” pointing at each of us… “ Divine, Divine, Divine- can I borrow a cell phone.” I couldn’t help myself I had to laugh. He came back to the table a couple of times to entertain us with his exuberance and then as suddenly as he came, he disappeared.
We left the restaurant around 3:30AM! Smarty Pant’s Mama told her, “Nothin’ good happens after 1AM,” but in this case she was wrong. We hailed ourselves a cab and were ready to go settle in for the night…but not before the cabdriver gave us a serious talking to. He was white haired, with glasses and had a twinkle in his eye as he started in, “What the hell are you girls doing in that dump?”
“Huh?… uh…” was the response from all four of us.
“That was probably the worst place you could have ever gone. VAGRANTS eat in there.” I wondered how the vagrants paid for their food. “Did you notice the locks on the bathrooms?… so they can’t go in there and shoot up! Don’t you ever go in there, again. If I had picked you up, I would have taken you to a nice place. There’s a real nice place right by your hotel.”
He continued to malign us all the way back to the hotel. Okay, so our choice of diner wasn’t the best… we still had a FABULOUS time. We laughed all night long, and at 11:00 the next day as we tried to rouse ourselves to leave the hotel, we laughed about it all again. There is no place more fascinating to meet people than Denver!
If anyone reading this has had the thought, “These four ladies have no business wondering around Downtown Denver until the wee hours of the morning…” let me just direct you to this little link to make you feel a little better.
My girl Smarty Pants invited me to go out on the town with her BFF for the last 25 years and another gal they’ve been friends with for a long time. We’ll call her Shots, and I’ll tell you why a little later.We had tickets to the Denver Center Performance of “Girls Only” a comedy show that includes singing, dancing, improv, little movie clips and other downright hilarious skits. When we arrived at the theatre we did what came naturally, and bellied up to the bar for a cocktail.
As we were imbibing we noticed a group of gals who clearly drew all the attention in the room. Gal #1, we’ll call her Pinkie, was dressed in a bright and shiny pink plastic bag that was cut down to her navel and rode up her thigh nearly showing the “happy landing” to the entire room. She had on matching pink gloves and shoes to complete the ensemble.
At first we all assumed she and her friends, who were equally noticeable, must be in the show. They all had on very interesting outfits which really should be referred to as costumes. Turns out, Pinkie’s getting married and all of her dress up friends joined her for a night out on the town to celebrate. It leads my mind to consider what in the world her wedding dress will look like. Too bad, I’ll never get to know.
After the hilarious show we hit the Denver bar scene. At the first bar we met up with a couple of guys who were more than happy to give us the bar tour around town. One of our new friends was leaving on a trip Monday to travel abroad for two months. His plan was to stay in Hostels and see as much of the world as he could.
As he was telling us this, I heard a gasp from one of the girls followed by an incredulous, “Have you gotten all your shots?” A moment passed and then we all burst out laughing. Our cover was blown. Yep, we really are just a bunch of mom’s who will no doubt worry about the health and well being of world travelers… Thus earning her the name “Shots” from here on out. (not what you were thinking, huh?)
After several more bars, dancing to some GREAT music, and watching as three policemen tried to get a vagrant off the street, we decided it was time to go for breakfast. It was 2am!! How time flies…
We left the last bar and headed out looking for a cab. As we were walking, Shots and BFF tripped and fell in the street. I immediately started yelling to Smarty Pants, “MAN DOWN! WE’VE GOT A MAN DOWN.” Smarty Pants was laughing so hard she nearly peed her pants. I’m seriously glad that didn’t happen, cuz she might have ruined her fabulous leopard skin shoes…
We got everyone back on their feet and found ourselves in a very interesting diner! The first thing I noticed was the bathroom doors were locked with a code…interesting…
After waiting a little bit we were finally seated in a booth right by the door. About two seconds later, a fascinating little man approached us. He was wearing jean overalls with a Tennessee T on the pocket and a red shirt. His belly can only be described as a perfectly round little sphere. He came up to our table in all his glory and addressed Smarty Pants in a very flamboyant and southern accent, “Girl, you should not be sitting in that outfit! That’s just too beautiful for sitting.”
“My God look at you girls,” pointing at each of us… “ Divine, Divine, Divine- can I borrow a cell phone.” I couldn’t help myself I had to laugh. He came back to the table a couple of times to entertain us with his exuberance and then as suddenly as he came, he disappeared.
We left the restaurant around 3:30AM! Smarty Pant’s Mama told her, “Nothin’ good happens after 1AM,” but in this case she was wrong. We hailed ourselves a cab and were ready to go settle in for the night…but not before the cabdriver gave us a serious talking to. He was white haired, with glasses and had a twinkle in his eye as he started in, “What the hell are you girls doing in that dump?”
“Huh?… uh…” was the response from all four of us.
“That was probably the worst place you could have ever gone. VAGRANTS eat in there.” I wondered how the vagrants paid for their food. “Did you notice the locks on the bathrooms?… so they can’t go in there and shoot up! Don’t you ever go in there, again. If I had picked you up, I would have taken you to a nice place. There’s a real nice place right by your hotel.”
He continued to malign us all the way back to the hotel. Okay, so our choice of diner wasn’t the best… we still had a FABULOUS time. We laughed all night long, and at 11:00 the next day as we tried to rouse ourselves to leave the hotel, we laughed about it all again. There is no place more fascinating to meet people than Denver!
If anyone reading this has had the thought, “These four ladies have no business wondering around Downtown Denver until the wee hours of the morning…” let me just direct you to this little link to make you feel a little better.
3 comments:
OMG.....SHOTS I love it.. You are seriously funny!
Man Down!!
Thanks Tats
Tit loves ya
So... what other dive diner is open at that time of the morning but the Denver Diner on Speer? Am I right? Or am I right?
And what's up with you and your sister partying the wee hours of the morning away all weekend long without me?!?!? : )
Let's be honest. I was in bed by 10:30 on Saturday night and that is the truthhhhhhhhhhh.
You are too funny!!! I love my new nickname. Thanks for the recap of events...I'm still laughing days later.
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