Rewrite Hell

I sent my screenplay in for coverage to an on-line screenwriters group called ScriptShark.com. Coverage is when a “reader” reads your script, gives it a logline and two page summary and then rates it. You get a comments section where they tell you what they really thought, and then a grid they fill out with the areas they think you need to work on. All of these fabulous prizes for the low, low price of $155.

So…here’s what I got. The first part is a pretty concise logline and summary. Then the comments section, which starts, “An often entertaining holiday story about Christmas, family, and the spirit of giving, this script has terrific potential in several different markets. Considering it’s scale and target audience, this concept would be ideal for a TV movie, particularly with Hallmark or ABC Family, but certainly has potential as a theatrical feature as well.” Nice huh??

He ends the comments section with… “Overall, the script has some trouble spots that require further development, but the concept is terrific, and certainly has potential. With deeper characterization, a more fully-realized second act, and higher stakes in Tiffany’s initial decision, this could be a first-rate family film.” WOW! Really?

Even though the middle of the comments is filled with little gems like, “The opening pages are flat, and fail to establish the setting or evoke the mood of the script’s locales.” And, “Much of the dialog rings false, particularly among the kids.” I still felt this was a pretty good assessment. Yeah for me.

But, then I got to the grid, portion. There are four categories they can rate you. Excellent, Solid, Needs Work, or Re-think. You would think with the above comments about the concept being “ideal” and saying flat out that the concept is “terrific” that I might rate an Excellent at least in those categories. Hmmmm…. Nope. I got 18 Needs Work, only 4 Solid’s (and one of those was on page count, please!) and 9 Re-think’s! Not a single Excellent among them. Bummer!!

Still though, someone read my script. Which is fabulous! They said some nice things and gave me some good ideas on improving it. All good. So what’s the problem now?

Yesterday, I tried to do a rewrite and encompass some of his ideas. Now I hate the damn thing! I feel like I have totally lost the overall feel and premise that I started with. At 3:00 yesterday after spending nearly the entire day on it. I gave up and walked away. Melanie, my four year old, and I went for a walk with the dog.

So, now what? This morning I woke up to an email from Jim Vine. A screenwriter in Hollywood, who has been extremely helpful, giving me some very simple advice. I think I need to re-outline the whole thing. Especially, Tiffany, my main character, with all of her challenges and who I really want her to be.

Then instead of going paragraph by paragraph trying to rewrite, I need to look at the whole thing. I have been trying to rework all the parts and the total concept kind of fell apart. Not good. I am back on track. I am going to lunch with my grandma today, and clearly I am procrastinating by writing this blog. But tonight when I get the kids to bed, I will try to read through the whole thing, and find my voice again.

You know what? It’s still really, REALLY FUN!!