From the PRESIDENT's desk

It was a tight race but I am this years PTO President and Smarty Pants is the VP, Lord help them! Actually, no one ran against us... but it would have been a hell of a fight. I am a little disappointed I didn't get to give my speech. I was going to wrap it up by singing "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

My first order of business is to keep SP from making anyone cry. At least for the first few months. I know it's a tall order but I'm serious about this new gig.

Actually, I have been giving some thought to school improvement and I wanted to sort some things out on the Blog before I present them in the PTO meeting.

The first is an Enrichment class I've been thinking about. It's called Survivor Student. We take 30 some kids and put them through vigorous challenges... like standing on a street corner, twirling a "Will Work For Food" sign. The students will have to write a resume to get off the corner. Points will be given for choreography of the twirling, correct spelling and grammar on the resume, as well as how much money they collect while on the corner.

Or something simple like putting together a puzzle of the US. For every state in the incorrect place we'll give them a little zap from one of those dog collars. If it can teach a dog to stay off the sofa, I think it might work wonders for Geography.

Every week the kid who cries gets voted off, by the end of six weeks whoever is left becomes Student Council President.

The next improvement I've been thinking about is more for the teachers. I think they should pick the kid out of the class who is... let's say... acting inappropriately, give him a shirt with his name on it, and send him out to wash all the teacher's cars during lunch. It's sort of a reality check mixed in with some teacher appreciation. Really killing two birds with one stone...

Last... and this one is the BEST... is for parents who like to complain but don't ever help out. I'd like to put together a simple list of consequences for bad behavior. The first time you complain about something, you will be asked to help out by monitoring the students washing the cars- and you will be issued a dog collar. The second time you complain... zap. AND, if you are stupid enough to complain a third time after being zapped with a dog collar, you will be voted off the island and asked to find a charter school.

See, I'm gonna make a GREAT PTO President! Ideas for the Enrichment class can be submitted as a comment. Any complaints about this Blog should be sent to SP, but not until she's back from buying a handful of dog collars.

January 2009

Just found this in my archives... I wrote it in January 2009 and never posted it. Now I think it's funny and I want to share!


Aphorism: a concise statement of general truth

And so today another day...
The vultures flock above my head
And question whether not I'm dead

But as I drink my bottle o'wine
I am sure it's a healthful sign

That my breathing seems to repeat
And my heart keeps up it's beat

But for now I'll dance a jig
After one more tasty swig

I'll ignore the doubtful twins
Who always notice all my sins

And keep my head about the rest
Hoping always for the best

Tottering slightly way up here
As I look around in fear

Realizing as I tottle
Down I fall into the bottle

Drowning in my own despise
I climb upon my own self-lies

To survive another day
I must learn to change my way

With the wine I can not win
So how about I try the gin

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the 4th anniversary of Steve's death. It is also his son's 13th birthday. I am at a loss for words today over a simple phone call and conversation which started last night.

The Victim's Advocate from Douglas County called and left Lisa a message. She said there was a motion before the court and she needed Lisa's opinion. We knew last night this was not good news.

This morning, Lisa spoke with her. It seems the kid who killed Steve is looking to get off probation early. The probation officer thinks he's done a fabulous job fulfilling all of his obligations and deserves to be let off early.

He only got two years probation. That's apparently too much time.

I'm finding it difficult to believe it's been almost two years. His actual date for being done is June 16th this year. The time between Steve's death and the sentence felt like 100 years - the time between his sentence and it almost being over, went by in the blink of an eye.

I felt so sad when he got sentenced. I wasn't sure that was justice. I was sad that all of our pain and grief was only allocated 24 months. Steve was dead, our lives were changed forever but I tried to see the other side. I knew the kid who caused the accident was injured, his life would be changed forever too... right?

After getting this phone call the day before the anniversary of his death I'm no longer sure what I feel. Does this family, the family of the kid, really think his sentence was too hard? Was it too inconvenient for them to just fulfill the sentence and let us all try and get on with our lives?

I feel like the least we can expect, from all of them -the family, the kid and the courts- is for him to do his two years like a man! Not to allow this motion to be put before the courts and to make Lisa have to withstand ANOTHER slap in the face!

Not to mention, it's all the day before she tries to celebrate her son's birthday and leave the fact that's it's also the day her husband was taken from her in the farthest place in her mind.

I'm glad he fulfilled his obligations so well the probation officer feels justified in letting him off early. It's good that he can do what's required of him, after all, not much was required.

It's been 18 months of probation-a blink of an eye. That's what Steve's life is worth to our justice system.

I know Lisa, almost better than I know myself. Although she is in pain today, she's crying and upset, she'll get over it. She'll find a way to see the bright side. She always does.

So tomorrow, we'll celebrate Jackson's birthday. We'll give him presents, eat his favorite foods, indulge in chocolate cake, and we'll try not too spend too much time dwelling on the fact that his father was taken from him - taken from all of us.

Till Death Do Us Part...

Last night I went to the annual Larkspur Mother's Group Christmas party. While the party was a huge success and a TON of fun, I found myself in an awkward situation.

We are at that age among our friends where divorce happens. I'm pretty sure the national average is still somewhere over 50%, so it's unavoidable that some of your friends are going to go through it. I have a couple of friends who have been recently divorced and some who are on the verge.

At the party last night, one of the gals who is on the verge began questioning me about my marriage. I found myself, oddly, defending my relationship. I have been trying to understand where she is coming from, where she is at in her life and what she feels is necessary for her to be a happy, whole person.

I honestly don't feel like I judge my friends when they decide to get divorced. No one can really know another person's situation. I feel very strongly, in all areas of life, that it's one's own business how you handle the tough choices. I have enough to worry about with the things that will actually affect my own life. No time to concern myself with other peoples situations. Not that I don't care! I want my friends to be happy, I just don't feel just in having an opinion when it comes to other peoples relationships.

Anyway, when I found myself in the hot seat, I don't think I was very good at conveying my viewpoint. I was caught off guard, and if for no other reason, I'd like to try again for my husband who deserves to know how I feel.

I by NO means have the perfect relationship. I have shed my share of tears over my husband. He has hurt my feelings, he is sometimes callous, and I definitely wish he were more outgoing. But...

I value my marriage and family. I say things sometimes like, "I think it's important to be married to someone who will take care of you when you're sick." Another friend last night said she could just hire a nurse. That's true but I didn't mean that's the ONLY reason!

I value the fact that I have someone who takes care of me because he loves me and wants the best for me. I know without a doubt, he would take a bullet for me, or beat down a nurse in a hospital to get me the best care. He would sacrifice our house and all of our possessions to make sure the kids or I are always taken care of.

I value the fact that he keeps a job he doesn't really love, traveling away from us and his home, to make sure I can stay home and take care of our kids. I can volunteer in their classes and pick them up from the bus, and be there for EVERY single thing they need because he makes this sacrifice.

I value the fact that I don't have to know ANYTHING about the bills. I don't enjoy that part of reality and even though he really wishes I would be more involved, he understands and takes care of all of it.

I value Wade's friendship. He is the closest person to me and in any situation I know if I need him, he has my back. I can tell him ANYTHING and even when he thinks I'm wrong he still at least tries to see my side of it.

I know what it's like to have a day so bad, you're not sure you will survive it. I value the fact that I have Wade to hold my hand and stand by my side and to lift me up off the kitchen floor when I don't think I can get up by myself.

I love, adore and am SERIOUSLY attracted to my husband! I value that!!! He thinks I am beautiful even when I've gained a few pounds. He's never said anything to me about how he wished I looked differently. He has never noticed my scars, paid any attention to my stretch marks, or remarked about my gray hair or wrinkles. If he has noticed ANY of those things, I surely don't know it.

I think marriage is hard. I think some days it's really REALLY hard, but more often than not I am truly happy. I know we are giving our kids stability and love. They see us fight sometimes, but they also see us make up. They see us kiss and love each other, and they see us laugh together. I value that because I don't come from that kind of a childhood.

I know how short life can be - sometimes shockingly short. I don't want to spend it with ANYONE other than Wade. He is my rock and the right person to balance out my weaknesses. I love you Wade. Thank you for everything.

Break a Leg

I haven't been writing much, we've been busy. First it was the Swine Flu, then they had fall break and then last week they were off for three days because of snow. I've played a TON of board games, made homemade play dough, painted fingernails, did arts and crafts, watched movies I've already seen a dozen times, went sledding and to the arcade, and baked everything I know how to bake. This week they finally went back to school, but they have tomorrow off for a teacher day. BLAGHHH!!

In between my job as child entertainer and short order cook, I've had a few other things going on. On July 4th I ran the Four on the Fourth in Palmer Lake, with some friends of mine. (I realize that was four months ago but there is a reason I'm starting that far back, hang in there...)

There was one guy with us who was a complete bully! He teased me and taunted me and bet me he would beat me. We'll call this man Joe...

I am sort of competitive, so when I lost sight of Joe within the first ten minutes of the run, I knew it would take all of my strength and determination to catch up to him. At some point in the race I hurt my leg. I felt it... it hurt bad... I kept running. I am blaming the fact that I kept running on Joe. My DH is thrilled with this because it means I'm not blaming it on him.

Anyway, four months later and my leg still hurts. I went out for a run with my kids during our three week hiatus from school. It was a VERY slow run, but my leg still hurt afterward. I am fed up with this. My darling friend and doctor told me it was basically a bruised bone and could take up to nine months to heal. I DON'T LIKE THIS ANSWER. I made an appointment with an Orthopedic Surgeon.

Smarty Pants asked what I expected out of this appointment. I told her I wanted the NFL option. If I were in the NFL what would you tell me. She answered, "They'd tell you it's time to retire."

We had to bench her for that comment. She could have at least said I needed a Medical Marijuana card.

The doctors appointment was today. I feel sort of silly going. I can walk just fine. It doesn't hurt at all unless I am running or jumping on it. The obvious answer is to stop running and jumping, but I've done that for the past four months. Now, I am depressed and gaining weight. THIS WILL NOT DO.

I walked into the doctors office in a fabulous mood. I was going to find out what was really wrong and figure out the fastest way to being back in my Asics. I bounced up to the receptionists desk, filled out the paperwork and skipped to the waiting area to sit down.

When I sat down I started to look around. The others in the room were NOT as skippy or happy as I was. They looked beat up! Two were in wheelchairs, two were on crutches and two small children had casts on their arms.

The lady sitting next to me did not have a cast on but was on crutches and had a terrible look of pain and regret across her unhappy little face. She looked like she was in SO much pain I wanted to offer her a bullet to bite on.

I began rummaging through my purse for something to offer her, but all I could find was Midol and some gum. I was going to offer them to her just as the nurse called her name. She struggled to get up balancing her crutches with her x-rays and her purse until the nurse finally came over to help her.

"Do you need some pain medication?" the nurse asked.

"No, I'm already on some," she answered. THIS look was medicated?? I'd hate to see her when it wears off!

Three other people left the waiting room before me, all with the assistance of a loved one or the nurse to push their wheelchair or help them maneuver the crutches. Other people came in while I was waiting too, all looking like they had been hit by a bus! One lady arrived in a wheelchair AND on oxygen! Her bone hurt so bad she couldn't even breathe!

When the doctor came out and called my name I remained in my seat for a second. I felt the panic coming over me. I knew as soon as I stood up everyone would judge me, "What the hell is she doing here? She's not even hurt!" I thought about faking a limp as I walked to meet him, but I couldn't even remember which leg I had hurt. What if I limped on the wrong leg?

I made it through the walk of shame and he led me back to the office. It turned out he was really nice. He was a runner and could understand my frustration. He marked my leg with a giant X where I said it hurt and sent me back for an x-ray. When he came back into the room he told me the x-ray hadn't shown anything.

"I'd like to send you for an MRI," he said.

Okay. I mean what am I going to say at this point. Never mind. Just being here has made me feel SO much better!

On the way out of the office the doctor was telling me about a patient he had seen earlier. He had broken his collar bone and it was actually sticking out of his back! "First time I've ever seen that," he said.

I felt like a complete idiot! That guy obviously needed to go to the doctor.

"Wow! Yep... well... thanks." I stammered.

Then just as I was about to walk away he asked, "So, how fast do you run?"

I frowned thinking about my answer.

"Not as fast as Joe."

This little piggy went Wee Wee Wee all the way home.

The kids have the Swine Flu. It was confirmed yesterday in the doctors office. The funny thing is, it’s really not that bad. They are coughing hard and without the Tylenol their fever spikes to about 102, that’s when they feel really crummy. But, as long as I stay on the Tylenol they are happy, playing, normal, but completely contagious, little kids.

The doctor told me to keep them out of school the rest of the week. My son has been out the entire week and my daughter has been out since Monday afternoon.

It’s ironic that this happened this week. DH and I have been having our annual argument. You see he travels all the time. He eats in restaurants and entertains clients and sleeps in hotels nearly every week. I stay home.

I am a STAY HOME mom. It means I stay home. I go to the store. I sometimes get to go to an exercise class. I volunteer in their classrooms and set up their assemblies but mostly I STAY HOME. We eat dinner at home, almost everyday. If I have a reason to be in town with the kids, say a football practice or something, and DH is out of town, we’ll swing through the Taco Bell for dinner but other than that, we stay home.

We have homework to do every night and baths to take and reading to do and we are pretty strict about their bedtimes being 8-8:30. That hardly leaves any time to be out frolicking about.

DH doesn’t understand when he comes home why I want to go OUT! He has no desire to go out he wants to STAY HOME! I will go to movies, or football games or friends houses, or shopping, just about anything to just get out of the house and have an adult conversation that lasts more than ten minutes, and which is NOT interrupted by the kids.

Being a stay home mom is really isolating.

Add sick kids on top of that… and DH is out of town.

I have listened to them fight over the Xbox everyday, we’ve played the game Sorry, seven times, we’ve watched kid movies I’ve seen a dozen times. We’ve made brownies and Chicken Noodle Soup and I’ve listened to them fight over their crayons or the channel on the TV, but I have NOT had an adult conversation that has lasted over ten minutes in the past three days. Today, being the forth.

Being a stay home mom is really isolating.

I understand that traveling for a living isn’t fun either. I get why he wants to stay home. But I’m not going into that side of it here, let him write his own blog. This one is for me.

I need to get out of the house. I need to go to museums and out for drinks and to dinner once in a frickin’ blue moon. I need to go to movies, and lunches and hang out at friends houses. If I don’t do those things, I will be a crazy person. Today, I am a crazy person.

It is Thursday and the doctor said by Saturday or Sunday they can start getting out of the house again. Next week my kids are on fall break. We will be looking for ANYTHING to do outside of the house. Anybody got any ideas?

I'm Sailing Away

About a year ago I watched an Oprah about the power of attraction. I thought the show might be about Jeffery Dean Morgan or that hot, Argentina Polo player, Nacho Figueras, but it wasn’t. It was about the power of positive thinking, specifically in getting the things you want in your life.

One of the gals on the show was showing this board she made. She had taken pictures of things she wanted in her life and glued them to a poster board. Somewhere on the board she had a picture of Oprah because one of her goals was to meet and be on Oprah. Well, here she was!

Another gal on the show said she tells herself everyday that “the world is conspiring in her favor.” I really liked the imagery that thought put into my head. It’s like all the little creatures, birds, deer, faeries, elves, trees, even Mother Nature, sitting around thinking about how they can make my day, my world, a little better. I wrote that sentence in my loft above my writing desk.

In fact, I made myself a little positive attraction board. I even wrote about it in this blog: http://beingwrite.blogspot.com/2008/07/grumpy-dragon-wins.html. At some point I added to my board. I included a picture of a bright red, mustang convertible because I love them, and I picture of a beautiful black grand piano.

Well, my board became a little more real this week. I received a call from my fairy god mother. She wondered if I still wanted a piano.

Back tracking a little to make this story better…

When I was growing up, we had an old, upright piano. It had keys that stuck and we never had the money to get it tuned, but I still loved it. I bought a book on how to play piano and it came with these little clear stickers that had the notes on them and I stuck them to the keys. I spent hours trying to teach myself how to play. I think I learned the basics and even had one song I could play with both hands, it was Sailing Away by Styx!

I have ALWAYS wanted another piano.

So, my fairy god mother calls… she has a friend who has a baby grand piano she is thinking of giving away. We went to visit her yesterday. This woman is so kind! I told her the story of trying to teach myself how to play and she told me she had a similar story. She said she was torn about giving the piano away, but she could tell it was important to me, and she really wanted it to have a good home. I assured her it would be loved and played!

The piano is beautiful! It’s a 1907 Hardman & Peck. It was refurbished in the 80’s. I’ve honestly never been given something so beautiful and generous and it came from a complete stranger. The funny thing is, it looks exactly like the piano picture on my poster board!

It’s being delivered on Wednesday and if you see me before that with my kids, please don’t talk about it in front of them, it’s a surprise.

I can hear you pessimists out there now, laughing about my magic board. You can doubt the power of the board all you want, but just wait till that red mustang convertible drops out of the sky!!!

The world is conspiring in my favor! Now I just need to find the sheet music to Sailing Away.